it's too funny not to blog!
It started with my friend complaining of his flu lol
Arie: pot
Arie: ??
Arie: probably u should take herbs or do acupuncture
Lorin: I'm eating lots of chiken noodle soup, they say chicken has natural antibiotics in them cuz they scratch their feet in the ground all the time
Arie: ooooo
Arie: why dont u look it up on the net babes?
Lorin: I should probably get some echineacea
Arie: whats that
Arie: http://www.chiff.com/a/flu-remedy.htm
Arie: they say here that green tea is good
Lorin: it's an herb that some studies seem to indicate it boosts t cell production
Lorin: t-cells are part of your imune system
Arie: ok
Lorin: yea I should get some green tea any way
Arie: u know if u weren't half way around hte world i would date u
Arie: i think the reason why ur so sick all the time is because u dont take care of urself
Lorin: I know, I know, lol
Lorin: I need a good womean to help me eat right and stuff
Lorin: help me cook good dinners instead of eating on the run all the time
Lorin: I know you want me, lol
Arie: lmfao
Arie: if only u were black and somewhat financially stable
Arie: lol
Lorin: pfft
Lorin: I'm financially stable but why'd I have to be black?
Arie: i think it comes with the stereotype of a good loving lmfao
Lorin: so are Mexicans and Spaniards, not many love better than us latin lovers
Arie: yea i guess i can live with the color of ur skin lol
Lorin: it's like I heard the hawaiians say once
Arie: why'd u have to mention hawaiian to me
Lorin: first god put the africans in the oven to make man
Lorin: he accidently burt them
Lorin: then he put the white people in and over corrected and under cooked them
Lorin: then he put the hawaiians in and they came out perfect golden brown
Arie: then ur what????????? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Lorin: so he put his perfect creation in paradise
Lorin: I'm golden brown, lol
Arie: buahahahahhaha
Arie: yea right
Arie: LOL
Arie: ok as u like
Arie: i wanna blog this conversation its funny lol
Lorin: pfft
Feb 19, 2008
Feb 18, 2008
I'm getting married this year ! :)
The pressure has surmounted to unreasonable proportions. Why on earth is everyone getting married and ready to pop out rug rats?!
Madness.
Most of my friends are getting into committed relationships. They're either of boyfriend or out shopping for wedding dresses where as I am left with helping out in planning their weddings and looking for my bridesmaids dress. *cries*
Stop it already!
I bugged my internet service provider to speeden things up with my internet connection.
I have yet to cancel my other account in Cyberjaya. Probably do that on Wednesday or something.
I need to get my priorities straight before I even think about the marriage deal. I don't want to bring my baggage to my coming committed relationship that'll come in 1-2 months time (affirmation).
Needless to say the acquisition of a gentleman is not easy nowadays. But I won't give up.
One more thing, I won't lay in my laurels waiting for my Prince Charming to arrive. I'm going to finally do the things that I love whilst in the search.
I wonder whether he is thinking of the same thing as well. Coz I certainly am.
I MISS YOU BABY !!! MWUAKS
come soon!!! :)
Madness.
Most of my friends are getting into committed relationships. They're either of boyfriend or out shopping for wedding dresses where as I am left with helping out in planning their weddings and looking for my bridesmaids dress. *cries*
Stop it already!
I bugged my internet service provider to speeden things up with my internet connection.
I have yet to cancel my other account in Cyberjaya. Probably do that on Wednesday or something.
I need to get my priorities straight before I even think about the marriage deal. I don't want to bring my baggage to my coming committed relationship that'll come in 1-2 months time (affirmation).
Needless to say the acquisition of a gentleman is not easy nowadays. But I won't give up.
One more thing, I won't lay in my laurels waiting for my Prince Charming to arrive. I'm going to finally do the things that I love whilst in the search.
I wonder whether he is thinking of the same thing as well. Coz I certainly am.
I MISS YOU BABY !!! MWUAKS
come soon!!! :)
My new adventure
.jpg)
Yesterday marked my first class with Joe Hasham.
My my...how my heart beat. I couldn't sleep the night before thinking of what was to come.
The anticipation was torture.
As I walked into class with my heart thumping like a mad rabbit, my eyes started to observe my new classmates. Were they as nervous as I was? I asked myself.
There was a variety of characters. It was at the 18-30 age range.
I was expecting to only see Joe up front. He was joined by his wife Faridah Merican or rather Dato' Faridah Merican and the breathing instructor Dominique something something LOL
I won't spoil it for others that want to attend this course.
But let me tell you, it's a challenging game and only the serious should think of signing up.
For more information on the workshop and other available workshops immerse yourself in this website www.klpac.com
JOURNEY OF THE RESTLESS
It’s exactly 4:47 am on Wednesday, 13 February 2008.
It’s not a for some reason I don’t know why I can’ fall asleep kind of thing.
It’s more like, I’m satiated and instead of eating like normal people I indulged myself in some glutton action.
I’m happy that I got to go for a holiday. I still am on a holiday one way or the other.
By hook or by crook I’m moving out next week.
27 and already I’m overwhelmed with doing adult things.
Like next week I have to renew my road tax. I’m still thinking of going on the next adventure while people my age are already working and making their first million.
I have friends that nag me on this. Unknowingly to them, I have scrounged every cell in my body to do the impossible thus far.
Working in camps while my other friends go gallivanting to the nines at road trips and cruises alike! I’m not envious rather applaud them for doing what they wanted.
Just because I’m doing something stereotypically linked to laziness, I hate having my choices ridiculed.
My body is taking its well deserved holiday.
As I close myself to unwanted noise and listen to the voice within, I have this yearning to move to
This has always been a dream of mine.
One by one my mind churns for ideas on how to make this happen. I have had friends who tell me this is just your way of escaping
It is not an escape it is my dream. Please see the difference.
I can’t help but get annoyed. I’ve discovered that it takes a lot of strength and firmness when it comes to making my decisions in life. So many other people want to make those decisions for you. Telling you how you should lead your life.
I love the coaching mechanism where people ask you powerful questions.
POWERFUL questions that change your life. Then I asked myself
“What makes you happy?”
Then one after the other life started to unfold before me. A couple of things started to surface like the fact that being loving and trusting would be great and always wanting myself to get better and better.
It was one of those a-ha moments when I recognized the importance of listening to
ME.
It’s high time I trusted myself and listen to my heart by first reshuffling of my priorities.
Initially I thought I wanted to get married. Now I’m thinking I’m not ready for such a commitment. YET.
At this point of time honestly all I want is to live in
After some more contemplating I get that there is a lot of challenge being put in my path. I’m sourcing for supportive love to come my way. To be treated with gentleness, kindness and respect.
It’s 6:45 am.
After rounds of quadra-pop (mobile game), I noticed my mind wasn’t totally in the game.
I think I should go back to sleep. lol
Ugh...
Here I am sitting in front of my laptop, pouring out my daily woes to Trin, who appears to be angered by the influences of the Fusoon(Monsoon) of his images not appearing.
Then the age old question goes "Where art thou my one true love?"
I cringe even writing that down thinking of what people might think of me????? omg! (oh my God) true love? what a wuss! The facade of strength that hides the anger and distrust that is within me is slowly melting and revealing at its deepest, to want.............
True love.
Trin says be clear about the kind of relationship that I want. Fling? or Forever?
This dude is quite the metrosexual soothsayer. Being an audio engineer his world revolves around sound and his true love. (which led me to go to him seeking for advice in the first place)
So given his enlightening prowess, he shoots me some more questions which were at each dart, like invincible hands slapping my face waking me up to reality.
How do you present yourself?
Well. (Vagueness eludes and is safe) lol
Do you notice the kind of men you attract?
Uh-uh
What type of men are they?
Bastards. (More vagueness, this really helps)
Do you notice a pattern?
I’m always left with a feeling of being taken advantage of.
What kind of man do you want? (My favourite question)
Bla blab la……….loving and trusting is crucial.
Again the statement comes. Fling or forever?
And there are prices to be paid for playing whichever game I choose to play.
For me to attract the kind of man that I want in my life I have to be the very same.
If I want a trusting, loving person I have to be the same.
THE SAME !!
And then the issue of distrust and hurt of men arises. Why would I feel hurt and distrust?? When it boils down to this, it becomes very confrontational to the self.
Where else in my life do I hurt and not trust myself?
I learnt that I am the source of my own heartbreak. When I choose to believe and deceive myself that its source is an external factor, I can never grow.
The opportunity to grow lies in my courage to confront myself moment to moment.
Feb 15, 2008
Love me love me do
I've been reading about the how's of attracting the type of relationship that I want into my life but it was until now that I have read some methodologies about how to be in love....and from time to time in my posts I reckon I'll be collecting through out my adventures.
Learning To Love Yourself
By Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A. According to the song written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed, Greatest Love of All "The greatest love of all / Is easy to achieve / Learning to love yourself / It is the greatest love of all." I agree that, for many people, self-love may be the greatest and most important love they ever experience in this lifetime. However, for so many people, "learning to love yourself" does not seem so "easy to achieve." For most of us, genuine self-love seems so elusive, so much harder to grasp than we expected. In my last piece, I spoke about the importance of self-love. Now, I would like to give some practical suggestions - some first steps -- on how to learn to love yourself.
I have made the analogy that, if you keep giving to others without giving to yourself, it is like pouring water from a vessel. If you pour and pour without ever refilling it, eventually, it will run dry. So, if we are like that vessel, how do we refill, recharge, re-energize, and replenish ourselves, so that we will have energy and love to give to others and to the world? The answer is: by loving and giving to ourselves, first. How do we begin to do this?
There are many ways for us to love and to care for ourselves... The possibilities are infinite. One way to learn to love yourself is to act as if you already do (i.e., "Fake it till you make it"). An important way to love yourself is to nourish and care for your body: eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. You may want to "treat" yourself to things like a massage, a facial, a pedicure, or a gym membership. Taking breaks and having fun are important, as well. Whether alone, with a friend, or with a partner, you may want to have a night out on the town: go out for a nice dinner, go dancing, and/or attend the theater, a concert, the ballet, or a movie. If you tend to be a workaholic -- or if you are more a saver than a spender -- then perhaps it is time to take a well-deserved, long-overdue vacation. Of course, treating yourself does not need to involve great expense: you can take a bubble bath, eat dinner at home by candlelight, take a walk on the beach, swim in the ocean (those waters are very healing), or watch a sunset. Perhaps you enjoy taking time to paint or to write. These are just a few ideas... You can put your own imagination to work...
Another way to enhance self-love and self-esteem is to be aware of your self-talk (those things that you say to yourself inside your head). Speak to yourself in ways that are more kind, and less mean or abusive. Many of us have very harsh inner critics: When we make a mistake, this critical voice inside our head beats up on us, saying things like, "That was so stupid! ... I can't do anything right! ... What a loser!" We need to replace these negative messages with other, more positive ones. For example, "I made a mistake. That's okay: That is how I learn. I'll know better the next time." With awareness, over time, you can "catch yourself" when your self-talk is negative, and change the message to something more positive and "ego-enhancing."
Don't just "catch yourself being wrong." "Catch yourself being right." In other words, don't just catch the voice of your inner critic, and stop it from beating up on you. When you do something well, or when you find yourself saying the right things to yourself or to others, be sure to reward yourself: acknowledge yourself verbally, give yourself a pat on the back, or treat yourself to something special.
Yet another way you can learn to love yourself is by being in the practice of using positive affirmations. Take some time to come up with the qualities that you most want to embody. Choose about two or three to focus on for any one period of time. Then try this for at least a month: Repeat those qualities daily, telling yourself that you are those things, already. Whether or not you currently believe it, say it anyway... Again, "Fake it till you make it." For example, take time to tell yourself, each day, "I am happy and successful" or "I am beautiful and bright" or "I love my body: I feel healthy and in balance" or "I am loving, caring, and worthy of love" or "I am powerful and self-confident" ... whatever qualities you wish to be. You may want to write out these affirmations and post them someplace where you will see them regularly: on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator door, by the clock in your bedroom, atop your computer monitor, or somewhere in front of your desk at work. Even if, at first, you feel silly or uncomfortable repeating or reading these phrases, you may find that you grow into and become these qualities. You may even realize that you embodied them all along; you just had not realized it.
So, go ahead. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Replenish yourself. You will discover that, the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others - and the more others will want to be around you and give back to you. This is a win-win situation. Loving yourself will ultimately benefit the lives of others you encounter, as well as your own life.
address: http://www.artofloving.com/love/loveyourself.htm
Learning To Love Yourself
By Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A. According to the song written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed, Greatest Love of All "The greatest love of all / Is easy to achieve / Learning to love yourself / It is the greatest love of all." I agree that, for many people, self-love may be the greatest and most important love they ever experience in this lifetime. However, for so many people, "learning to love yourself" does not seem so "easy to achieve." For most of us, genuine self-love seems so elusive, so much harder to grasp than we expected. In my last piece, I spoke about the importance of self-love. Now, I would like to give some practical suggestions - some first steps -- on how to learn to love yourself.
I have made the analogy that, if you keep giving to others without giving to yourself, it is like pouring water from a vessel. If you pour and pour without ever refilling it, eventually, it will run dry. So, if we are like that vessel, how do we refill, recharge, re-energize, and replenish ourselves, so that we will have energy and love to give to others and to the world? The answer is: by loving and giving to ourselves, first. How do we begin to do this?
There are many ways for us to love and to care for ourselves... The possibilities are infinite. One way to learn to love yourself is to act as if you already do (i.e., "Fake it till you make it"). An important way to love yourself is to nourish and care for your body: eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. You may want to "treat" yourself to things like a massage, a facial, a pedicure, or a gym membership. Taking breaks and having fun are important, as well. Whether alone, with a friend, or with a partner, you may want to have a night out on the town: go out for a nice dinner, go dancing, and/or attend the theater, a concert, the ballet, or a movie. If you tend to be a workaholic -- or if you are more a saver than a spender -- then perhaps it is time to take a well-deserved, long-overdue vacation. Of course, treating yourself does not need to involve great expense: you can take a bubble bath, eat dinner at home by candlelight, take a walk on the beach, swim in the ocean (those waters are very healing), or watch a sunset. Perhaps you enjoy taking time to paint or to write. These are just a few ideas... You can put your own imagination to work...
Another way to enhance self-love and self-esteem is to be aware of your self-talk (those things that you say to yourself inside your head). Speak to yourself in ways that are more kind, and less mean or abusive. Many of us have very harsh inner critics: When we make a mistake, this critical voice inside our head beats up on us, saying things like, "That was so stupid! ... I can't do anything right! ... What a loser!" We need to replace these negative messages with other, more positive ones. For example, "I made a mistake. That's okay: That is how I learn. I'll know better the next time." With awareness, over time, you can "catch yourself" when your self-talk is negative, and change the message to something more positive and "ego-enhancing."
Don't just "catch yourself being wrong." "Catch yourself being right." In other words, don't just catch the voice of your inner critic, and stop it from beating up on you. When you do something well, or when you find yourself saying the right things to yourself or to others, be sure to reward yourself: acknowledge yourself verbally, give yourself a pat on the back, or treat yourself to something special.
Yet another way you can learn to love yourself is by being in the practice of using positive affirmations. Take some time to come up with the qualities that you most want to embody. Choose about two or three to focus on for any one period of time. Then try this for at least a month: Repeat those qualities daily, telling yourself that you are those things, already. Whether or not you currently believe it, say it anyway... Again, "Fake it till you make it." For example, take time to tell yourself, each day, "I am happy and successful" or "I am beautiful and bright" or "I love my body: I feel healthy and in balance" or "I am loving, caring, and worthy of love" or "I am powerful and self-confident" ... whatever qualities you wish to be. You may want to write out these affirmations and post them someplace where you will see them regularly: on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator door, by the clock in your bedroom, atop your computer monitor, or somewhere in front of your desk at work. Even if, at first, you feel silly or uncomfortable repeating or reading these phrases, you may find that you grow into and become these qualities. You may even realize that you embodied them all along; you just had not realized it.
So, go ahead. Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Replenish yourself. You will discover that, the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others - and the more others will want to be around you and give back to you. This is a win-win situation. Loving yourself will ultimately benefit the lives of others you encounter, as well as your own life.
address: http://www.artofloving.com/love/loveyourself.htm
Love-ly
This issue of being in a committed relationship has never failed to escape my mind.
At certain instances the brag or boast about it being "good" single gets tiring.
I mean I am a complete person all on my own. But it would be great to have someone to share life's adventures with.
Don't get me wrong, I love my life.
But have you ever felt that you were surrounded by a group of millions and still feel so alone and separated?
I guess the karmic forces of the universe has finally decided to punish me after breaking my exes hearts.
JUST GREAT.
You know when you read the postcards and magazines and other media you'd come across
taglines like You make me feel brand new or There's no me without you, Everyday's Valentine's day with you (barfs) or oh so infamous Jerry McGuire tag line that my bestie Erin reminded me of
YOU COMPLETE ME
I used to make fun of the iwangness(emo) of it all. But now that I'm experiencing it I'd break the neck of anyone who would ridicule my feelings. LOL
Another funny thing that happened to me, well actually I don't find it funny I find it quite terrifying that I, Haryaton Yahya, keep getting dreams of me getting married and pregnant.
I freaked out even more when we went to the under garments section of
Fiona said "Start sudah bah naluri kau tu" (which means your biological clock is ticking).
She's definitely right. I had this period of time where I did not want to hold any responsibility of caring for any more children since I had already did with my nieces and nephews.
Mind you I love each and everyone of them to the bone :)
So where was I? oh! so there were a lot of things that needed to get handled before I jump into that roller coaster. [MARRIAGE-Ugh!]
I have big dreams and one of them is to move to the UK and get myself established there as a writer/PR practitioner.
I notice that my enterpreneurial genes that was passed on to me by my father and late mother (God bless her soul) is also kicking in. I just feel money hungry LOL
I'll get married and meet him when I'm good and ready. I know he's coming soon :) But before that happens I need to already be living my dreams.
At certain instances the brag or boast about it being "good" single gets tiring.
I mean I am a complete person all on my own. But it would be great to have someone to share life's adventures with.
Don't get me wrong, I love my life.
But have you ever felt that you were surrounded by a group of millions and still feel so alone and separated?
I guess the karmic forces of the universe has finally decided to punish me after breaking my exes hearts.
JUST GREAT.
You know when you read the postcards and magazines and other media you'd come across
taglines like You make me feel brand new or There's no me without you, Everyday's Valentine's day with you (barfs) or oh so infamous Jerry McGuire tag line that my bestie Erin reminded me of
YOU COMPLETE ME
I used to make fun of the iwangness(emo) of it all. But now that I'm experiencing it I'd break the neck of anyone who would ridicule my feelings. LOL
Another funny thing that happened to me, well actually I don't find it funny I find it quite terrifying that I, Haryaton Yahya, keep getting dreams of me getting married and pregnant.
I freaked out even more when we went to the under garments section of
Fiona said "Start sudah bah naluri kau tu" (which means your biological clock is ticking).
She's definitely right. I had this period of time where I did not want to hold any responsibility of caring for any more children since I had already did with my nieces and nephews.
Mind you I love each and everyone of them to the bone :)
So where was I? oh! so there were a lot of things that needed to get handled before I jump into that roller coaster. [MARRIAGE-Ugh!]
I have big dreams and one of them is to move to the UK and get myself established there as a writer/PR practitioner.
I notice that my enterpreneurial genes that was passed on to me by my father and late mother (God bless her soul) is also kicking in. I just feel money hungry LOL
I'll get married and meet him when I'm good and ready. I know he's coming soon :) But before that happens I need to already be living my dreams.
IT'S NOW OR NEVER!!
Ok then here's the deal.
I heard this radio community reach thingy by JJ and Rudy from Hitz.fm Malaysia and it was about procrastinating goals.
It really hit home because this man kept saying next year everytime someone were to confront him of his excess baggage. (lol)
Ok not funny since I too have MORE to offer :P but I'm not the attention right now.
Procrastination is. So why do you want to procrastinate? why are we knowingly that those targets are important to us delay the WINNING process?
Anyways, I did a bit of googling and extracted something from the archives of the University of Cambridge UK.
Have fun reading
Start of article
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
Thomas DeQuincey
What is procrastination?
The avoidance of doing a task which needs to be done - postponing until tomorrow what can be done today.
Procrastination not only affects a person's work, but also commonly involves feelings such as guilt, inadequacy, self-disgust, stress and depression.
Often we try to disguise our avoidance by being very busy doing things that may be interesting, and even useful, but don't contribute towards the main goal - even doing something we normally hate - rather than writing, for example, just before an essay deadline!
Why do people procrastinate?
* poor time management, often associated with a distorted sense of the time available
* an inability to prioritise
* overload of tasks at a specific time
* anxiety about the task, so time is spent worrying rather than doing
* difficulty concentrating
* not knowing what is required
* feeling overwhelmed by the task(s)
* concern about failing or not meeting your own standards
* fear of success and its possible consequences
* perfectionism, often associated with unrealistic standards
* negative feelings - e.g. "I'm stupid", "nothing ever goes right for me"
* all-or-nothing thinking, where one setback is seen as a total catastrophe
* being bored by the task
* never having learned how to work or sort out problems while at school or living at home
* avoidance of things which are disliked or difficult.
How to overcome procrastination
Overcoming procrastination usually involves both better organisational and time-management skills as well as a clearer understanding of its personal or emotional meaning.
The former skills can be learned and improved with practice. Although there are some useful tips that can help you improve, it is primarily a matter of finding the ways of working that best suit you rather than trying to rigidly follow someone else's model.
Counselling can help you to understand and change the personal or emotional aspects to your procrastination.
Here are some suggestions to help you get started:
* Accept that there is no magic wand: you will have to do the task!
* The words that we use to ourselves in thinking or talking about the task matter! They have feelings attached to them which colour our anticipation and experience of the work. Try changing the words "have to" and "can't" to "choose to" and "choose not to" - this won't always be true, but it will probably be more honest most of the time. After all, you don't have to do this work - you probably chose to come and do this course, research or job, and you could choose to leave it!
* Take account of the sort of person you are, of your values and your expectations. Assess whether these "fit" with the way in which you are trying to tackle the task - do you need a new approach with which you will be more comfortable? Patterns of working vary from one person to another, and so do the desired outcomes.
* Recognise self-defeating behaviour and its associated thinking. Try to work out why you procrastinate: what do you gain from it? Find out how to overcome such behaviour. You might choose to sort it out yourself, to refer to a self-help book or leaflet, or to consult the appropriate person, such as your tutor, supervisor, director of studies, manager, colleague or a counsellor.
* Identify goals and make realistic decisions about how to do the tasks, and prioritise.
* Ensure that you have the right equipment, information etc. to help in tackling the task. Some time spent in preparation and planning is vital - but not to the extent that no real work gets done. So set a time limit for the planning stage(s). Plan a (small) section and then work on it.
* Whilst spending time planning is very useful, here's a word of warning to those who make very detailed plans which go wrong within an hour and are then ripped up in disgust - plans need to be flexible! Don't plan all the hours in the day; leave plenty of unplanned times and spaces - to allow for things taking longer than expected, and for you to have extra time for relaxation when they don't!
* Break down tasks into manageable bits. Set yourself small goals - to read one chapter; to write 1 page; to work for 45 minutes, take a 15 minute break and then do another 45 minutes work.
* Boost your motivation. Dwell on your strengths, on tasks you have accomplished and feel good about, in order to remind yourself that you can be successful.
* Give yourself rewards when you accomplish something.
* When you are getting stuck, rather than just stopping work, try a different strategy - take a pencil and an old, half-used piece of paper out of the bin, and scribble unplanned and unstructured notes and ideas to yourself for the task in hand. Or start on a different section of the piece (you don't have to work from the beginning to the end), picking the least demanding in thought or creativity.
* Quite often procrastination is connected to anxieties about the quality of the work you hope (or fear) you will produce! At times like this, it is worth remembering that it's better to produce something rather than nothing!
(This part is a bit irrelevant but just to be included since it is part of the article) :-
Where to seek more help - when you can get round to it...
There is further help available. Tutors, directors of studies, supervisors and managers will have spoken to others before - you won't be the first (or last), and you are likely to find that they can make useful suggestions to get you back on track. But don't leave it until the situation is dire - it's then harder for you and for them!
The counselling service is also able to help - not with your academic subject-matter, but with the personal or emotional aspects that are often so important - again, don't leave it any longer!
For a list of books on study skills and maximising your potential consult our Self-help Booklist.
End of article
Here is a link of the actual post
http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/procras.html
Actually you don't have to attend Cambridge to gfet the support you can get family, friends and colleagues and just people around you to get you back on track to your goals :)
I hope this post has helped somewhat ! :)
Much love to all
I heard this radio community reach thingy by JJ and Rudy from Hitz.fm Malaysia and it was about procrastinating goals.
It really hit home because this man kept saying next year everytime someone were to confront him of his excess baggage. (lol)
Ok not funny since I too have MORE to offer :P but I'm not the attention right now.
Procrastination is. So why do you want to procrastinate? why are we knowingly that those targets are important to us delay the WINNING process?
Anyways, I did a bit of googling and extracted something from the archives of the University of Cambridge UK.
Have fun reading
Start of article
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
Thomas DeQuincey
What is procrastination?
The avoidance of doing a task which needs to be done - postponing until tomorrow what can be done today.
Procrastination not only affects a person's work, but also commonly involves feelings such as guilt, inadequacy, self-disgust, stress and depression.
Often we try to disguise our avoidance by being very busy doing things that may be interesting, and even useful, but don't contribute towards the main goal - even doing something we normally hate - rather than writing, for example, just before an essay deadline!
Why do people procrastinate?
* poor time management, often associated with a distorted sense of the time available
* an inability to prioritise
* overload of tasks at a specific time
* anxiety about the task, so time is spent worrying rather than doing
* difficulty concentrating
* not knowing what is required
* feeling overwhelmed by the task(s)
* concern about failing or not meeting your own standards
* fear of success and its possible consequences
* perfectionism, often associated with unrealistic standards
* negative feelings - e.g. "I'm stupid", "nothing ever goes right for me"
* all-or-nothing thinking, where one setback is seen as a total catastrophe
* being bored by the task
* never having learned how to work or sort out problems while at school or living at home
* avoidance of things which are disliked or difficult.
How to overcome procrastination
Overcoming procrastination usually involves both better organisational and time-management skills as well as a clearer understanding of its personal or emotional meaning.
The former skills can be learned and improved with practice. Although there are some useful tips that can help you improve, it is primarily a matter of finding the ways of working that best suit you rather than trying to rigidly follow someone else's model.
Counselling can help you to understand and change the personal or emotional aspects to your procrastination.
Here are some suggestions to help you get started:
* Accept that there is no magic wand: you will have to do the task!
* The words that we use to ourselves in thinking or talking about the task matter! They have feelings attached to them which colour our anticipation and experience of the work. Try changing the words "have to" and "can't" to "choose to" and "choose not to" - this won't always be true, but it will probably be more honest most of the time. After all, you don't have to do this work - you probably chose to come and do this course, research or job, and you could choose to leave it!
* Take account of the sort of person you are, of your values and your expectations. Assess whether these "fit" with the way in which you are trying to tackle the task - do you need a new approach with which you will be more comfortable? Patterns of working vary from one person to another, and so do the desired outcomes.
* Recognise self-defeating behaviour and its associated thinking. Try to work out why you procrastinate: what do you gain from it? Find out how to overcome such behaviour. You might choose to sort it out yourself, to refer to a self-help book or leaflet, or to consult the appropriate person, such as your tutor, supervisor, director of studies, manager, colleague or a counsellor.
* Identify goals and make realistic decisions about how to do the tasks, and prioritise.
* Ensure that you have the right equipment, information etc. to help in tackling the task. Some time spent in preparation and planning is vital - but not to the extent that no real work gets done. So set a time limit for the planning stage(s). Plan a (small) section and then work on it.
* Whilst spending time planning is very useful, here's a word of warning to those who make very detailed plans which go wrong within an hour and are then ripped up in disgust - plans need to be flexible! Don't plan all the hours in the day; leave plenty of unplanned times and spaces - to allow for things taking longer than expected, and for you to have extra time for relaxation when they don't!
* Break down tasks into manageable bits. Set yourself small goals - to read one chapter; to write 1 page; to work for 45 minutes, take a 15 minute break and then do another 45 minutes work.
* Boost your motivation. Dwell on your strengths, on tasks you have accomplished and feel good about, in order to remind yourself that you can be successful.
* Give yourself rewards when you accomplish something.
* When you are getting stuck, rather than just stopping work, try a different strategy - take a pencil and an old, half-used piece of paper out of the bin, and scribble unplanned and unstructured notes and ideas to yourself for the task in hand. Or start on a different section of the piece (you don't have to work from the beginning to the end), picking the least demanding in thought or creativity.
* Quite often procrastination is connected to anxieties about the quality of the work you hope (or fear) you will produce! At times like this, it is worth remembering that it's better to produce something rather than nothing!
(This part is a bit irrelevant but just to be included since it is part of the article) :-
Where to seek more help - when you can get round to it...
There is further help available. Tutors, directors of studies, supervisors and managers will have spoken to others before - you won't be the first (or last), and you are likely to find that they can make useful suggestions to get you back on track. But don't leave it until the situation is dire - it's then harder for you and for them!
The counselling service is also able to help - not with your academic subject-matter, but with the personal or emotional aspects that are often so important - again, don't leave it any longer!
For a list of books on study skills and maximising your potential consult our Self-help Booklist.
End of article
Here is a link of the actual post
http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/procras.html
Actually you don't have to attend Cambridge to gfet the support you can get family, friends and colleagues and just people around you to get you back on track to your goals :)
I hope this post has helped somewhat ! :)
Much love to all
Feb 9, 2008
My heart of hearts
There seems to be an overflowing of abundance and happiness in my circle of friends in the domain of intimate relationships.
I've done so well in the past that it makes me wonder why I don't do as well in it now.
Many times I've spoken to my friends about it. Most of us are secretly wishing that it was us that were married to the one we love.
Not that I'm being desperate or whatever, it's just that it's high time I sat down and reflected upon why mine hasn't been working.
As I recall, upon attending a relationship workshop a couple of years back the trainer mentioned that, in order to have working relationships with everyone else, one has to have a working relationship with oneself.
RELATIONSHIP=Relation+Ship
The relation ship is kind of sinking.
I discovered that past experiences really plays a role on how I saw myself or rather relate.
What I wanted is to be my own best friend. That's the only way I can attract the kind of relationship that I want.
What triggered this need was because I kept attracting men that I wanted to be committed to but I felt that I was being used as a doormat and kept having to take their bullshit.
I kept giving myself blows on the face with these characters in my life. This had to stop. I was losing grasps on my self worth.
As I dug in deeper I noticed I had esteem issues as well. And this was affecting the relationship I had with myself.
How I valued myself as a person, how my inner voice/critic communicated to me.
I realized this earlier on but did not do anything about it. Yea well putting myself aside like that does not work too.
So today I read this article by texas university on how to improve one's self esteem and it really helped alot in identifying the root of the problem, identifying the contrast between healthy and poor self esteem.
Esteem <--click on this link to read more ab out it. To solidify my new found knowledge I also went on search for powerful affirmations
This post shall be my point of direction for everytime this heart gets misdirected.
Be strong young heart
For your days are numbered
Will you live in misery
or mastery of the heart?
Don't dwell in pain
Live life in love
Let it be
You will realize that
The destination is now
And the journey, by moments
When you let discovery be your God
-ari-
I've done so well in the past that it makes me wonder why I don't do as well in it now.
Many times I've spoken to my friends about it. Most of us are secretly wishing that it was us that were married to the one we love.
Not that I'm being desperate or whatever, it's just that it's high time I sat down and reflected upon why mine hasn't been working.
As I recall, upon attending a relationship workshop a couple of years back the trainer mentioned that, in order to have working relationships with everyone else, one has to have a working relationship with oneself.
RELATIONSHIP=Relation+Ship
The relation ship is kind of sinking.
I discovered that past experiences really plays a role on how I saw myself or rather relate.
What I wanted is to be my own best friend. That's the only way I can attract the kind of relationship that I want.
What triggered this need was because I kept attracting men that I wanted to be committed to but I felt that I was being used as a doormat and kept having to take their bullshit.
I kept giving myself blows on the face with these characters in my life. This had to stop. I was losing grasps on my self worth.
As I dug in deeper I noticed I had esteem issues as well. And this was affecting the relationship I had with myself.
How I valued myself as a person, how my inner voice/critic communicated to me.
I realized this earlier on but did not do anything about it. Yea well putting myself aside like that does not work too.
So today I read this article by texas university on how to improve one's self esteem and it really helped alot in identifying the root of the problem, identifying the contrast between healthy and poor self esteem.
Esteem <--click on this link to read more ab out it. To solidify my new found knowledge I also went on search for powerful affirmations
This post shall be my point of direction for everytime this heart gets misdirected.
Be strong young heart
For your days are numbered
Will you live in misery
or mastery of the heart?
Don't dwell in pain
Live life in love
Let it be
You will realize that
The destination is now
And the journey, by moments
When you let discovery be your God
-ari-
Feb 8, 2008
misadventures of ari
Something hillarious happened to me today.
I was sweating bullets when I realized that I couldn't access this blog of mine that I have left unattended for 4 months now.
One email after another I click in with my acrylic falsies, almost reduced to tears.
"Fi...ndak boleh la masuk" I pouted. Looking to my bestie for some sort of idea and at the same time hoping that she won't think me too stupid. (I know she will still love me even if)
Then she suggested that I go under my "About Me" here on blogspot.
Cluck, click and tug I'm back here on blogspot!!! w0o0o0o0ot..
to be continued to my next blogventure....
till then
I was sweating bullets when I realized that I couldn't access this blog of mine that I have left unattended for 4 months now.
One email after another I click in with my acrylic falsies, almost reduced to tears.
"Fi...ndak boleh la masuk" I pouted. Looking to my bestie for some sort of idea and at the same time hoping that she won't think me too stupid. (I know she will still love me even if)
Then she suggested that I go under my "About Me" here on blogspot.
Cluck, click and tug I'm back here on blogspot!!! w0o0o0o0ot..
to be continued to my next blogventure....
till then
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)