Feb 9, 2008

My heart of hearts

There seems to be an overflowing of abundance and happiness in my circle of friends in the domain of intimate relationships.

I've done so well in the past that it makes me wonder why I don't do as well in it now.

Many times I've spoken to my friends about it. Most of us are secretly wishing that it was us that were married to the one we love.

Not that I'm being desperate or whatever, it's just that it's high time I sat down and reflected upon why mine hasn't been working.

As I recall, upon attending a relationship workshop a couple of years back the trainer mentioned that, in order to have working relationships with everyone else, one has to have a working relationship with oneself.


The relation ship is kind of sinking.

I discovered that past experiences really plays a role on how I saw myself or rather relate.

What I wanted is to be my own best friend. That's the only way I can attract the kind of relationship that I want.

What triggered this need was because I kept attracting men that I wanted to be committed to but I felt that I was being used as a doormat and kept having to take their bullshit.

I kept giving myself blows on the face with these characters in my life. This had to stop. I was losing grasps on my self worth.

As I dug in deeper I noticed I had esteem issues as well. And this was affecting the relationship I had with myself.

How I valued myself as a person, how my inner voice/critic communicated to me.

I realized this earlier on but did not do anything about it. Yea well putting myself aside like that does not work too.

So today I read this article by texas university on how to improve one's self esteem and it really helped alot in identifying the root of the problem, identifying the contrast between healthy and poor self esteem.

Esteem <--click on this link to read more ab out it. To solidify my new found knowledge I also went on search for powerful affirmations

This post shall be my point of direction for everytime this heart gets misdirected.

Be strong young heart
For your days are numbered
Will you live in misery
or mastery of the heart?
Don't dwell in pain
Live life in love
Let it be
You will realize that
The destination is now
And the journey, by moments
When you let discovery be your God


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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.