Dec 27, 2008

What is love?

I asked a good friend of mind who was gracious and very generous to share with me what love is...and how to know whether it is...LOVE.. and this is what he said:-

its more than instincts, that's just one sense. its more like when all yr senses centre on the same subject matter, u see it, smell it, touch it, hear it, even taste it, and all senses go in harmony and feel right abt it, ..

some people say that's when u r in seventh heaven.


It's one of those miracles that is hard to fathom. And yet no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it just keeps coming. Some people keep a blind eye to it for fear that it would hurt them. It reminds me of another wise man's saying...Some people are more afraid to hurt than to love.

When I think about it, yea what is hurt when the end result is true happiness? No one in the world gets something right the one time, some takes shorter time, others take longer.

You know when you just found the right one. After years of half believing, this time around I believe that I will know it when I see it. And this time around, I will harness all that I am to get to where I want to go.

All that I have, I give to you..Everything I give to you... My heart and my all...

Dec 25, 2008

Law of Attraction - Attracting Positives Breaking the Habit of Attracting Negatives By Phylameana lila Desy,

me: Here's something for the New Year guys, have fun and enjoy and LIVE YOUR LIFE! =)

There is a trick to the Law of Attraction. This trick is not really as magical as one might imagine. We attract the things that we focus on. When we focus on not having enough that thought form supports the "lack of" we routinely experience.

We are forever reminded to use affirmations and to keep our thoughts positive but Feeling Sorry for Myself continues to be the mantra of many people.

Sick of the n'ts in Your Vocabulary?

We are bombarded with repetitive negative phrases in our thinking such as I just can't get ahead, I couldn't dodge the bullet, I won't be the winner, I don't have enough, etc. etc. Are you guilty of continuously repeating negatives either in thoughts or words? Is your negative mind set pretty much representative of your current life situation? If your answer is YES, then Congratulations! You are living proof that the law of attraction works. You are a champion at attracting negatives.

Breaking the Habit of Attracting Negatives

Why do we focus on our illnesses, our low-paying jobs, and our less than fulfilling relationships? We do so out of habit. Breaking the "attracting negatives" habit, just like any other bad habit will take some effort on your part. Especially so, if you have been dwelling on the negatives for years. Your parents might have taught you this behavior by being the role model of "criticism" or "negative language." If this is so, then they are likely mirroring behavior they learned from their parents, and so on back through the generations. Isn't it time to break this negative cycle?.... urr rather, in postitive terms -- IT IS time to break the cycle.

I too struggle with "negatives" in my life. I sometimes think Worry Wart has taken up permanent lodging in my guest room. I should say "unwelcome" guest room. Unwelcome guests in your life may be Unlucky Lucy, Loser Larry or Barb Bites. I'm certain you can name others. But let's not! Let's turn our negatives into positives and begin attracting welcome guests such as Lucky Lonnie, Smart Sam, and Happy Harriet. A simple way that you can put materializing positives into motion is to busy your hands with creating positive images for your eyes/mind to focus on.

Attracting Positives

Several years ago I created my first manifesting scrapbook. I filled the pages with affirmations and clippings of pictures that depicited the things that I wished to have materialize into my life. I spent about a week creating the various pages in the book. Then I put the book away on my bookshelf and basically forgot about it. About six months later my daughter gave me a butterfly wind chime on my birthday. Another friend of mine stopped by with an angel candle holder. Neither my friend, nor my daughter knew about my manifestation book. I had never told my daughter that I wanted a new wind chime for our back portch, let alone that I had pasted a similar butterfly wind chime in my wish book. But, sure enough, both items (wind chime and angel) were pasted in the scrapbook. The items were not exactly the same but pretty darn close. Amazing. That's when I started pasting more and more stuff that I wanted into my manifesting scrapbook.

Creating Your Own Manifesting Scrapbook

The instructions for creating your very own manifesting book are very basic. Choose affirmative words and colorful pictures clipped from magazines. Your words and images will tell stories about what you cherish most about your life. You will also want to include the things which you wish to attract into your life. Create as many pages as you like in your manifestation scrapbook. Be sure to include photos of friends, pets, and family. Supplies needed are simple: scissors, paper, glue, magazine clippings, and favorite photos. This art project is a fun way to focus on the things that bring you joy, wellness, prosperity, and more. View sample pages for your manifesting picture book.


Miracles right at your fingertips

I can't talk enough about this guy and his contribution to the world of metaphysics and science.

He gives a very practical approach to the LOGIC or rather FORMULA of living in order for us to experience miracles in our daily lives. It's soooooooooooooooooooooo awesome I watched it 3 times!! =) UBER INSIGHTFUL!

Let me stop my yap because I don't want to spoil your fun.

Please take some time and watch and learn because the insight is invaluable.

By the way, there's 7 parts to the video so make sure you have enough time to enjoy it uninterrupted =)


Dec 22, 2008


170th post and what do I want to talk about?

As the 2009 looms, leaving 7 days to 2008, there are so many things that LIFE gave me through out this year. NEW FRIENDS, NEW EXPERIENCES, AND LOVE. 2008 was not much of a career year for me, rather a year of reflection and thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life, it was for me to take a pit stop and really LOOK at, what I wanted to accomplish, my legacy.

I went on to reflect about how my relationships were with my family, my friends, and myself. It dawned upon me that as I thought I knew a lot there is to know about life, there was so much more to learn. Keeping humble about knowledge was so not my cup of tea until the recent turn of events that I shall conceal to myself.

When I went through it, I thought my whole world was going to fall apart, but I had my angels in the form of my nieces, friends whom I've grown to call my family, that supported me with whatever I wanted to do.

Given the time of reflection I have, one thing that I fared out of this year was the importance of keeping a positive mental image. I acknowledged I slacked in that area that matters most (health of mind) and now I have to pay for the consequences. And to top it off I was really carrying emotional baggage that I thought I have already handled. One cannot depend on another to fill the void, whatever void it may be. It's up to me really if I want change to happen.

I've also learnt to listen to what I want, take a step back and THINK about what matters to me. My hopes, aspirations and dreams. To really LISTEN instead of getting sucked into the ideal image of what I am supposed to be.

I'm taking a time off from delusional behaviour, and go soul searching....

wish me luck.

2009 is where dreams come true.

All of it.

Dec 16, 2008

Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore

For those people who are struggling in relationships, don't give up so fast, listen to this song and make things matter between the both of you. :) You give up on love, you give up on life. My MOTTO...Sad this I wasn't the one who gave up :P

"Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore"
(BON JOVI feat. LeAnn Rimes)

It might be hard to be lovers
But it's harder to be friends
Baby, pull down the covers
It's time you let me in
Maybe light a couple candles
I'll just go ahead and lock the door
If you just talk to me baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

Lay your head on my pillow
I sit beside you on the bed
Don't you think its time we say
Some things we haven't said
It ain't too late to get back to that place
Back to where, we thought it was before
Why don't you look at me
Till we ain't strangers anymore

Sometimes it's hard to love me
Sometimes it's hard to love you too
I know it's hard believing
That love can pull us through
It would be so easy
To live your life

With one foot out the door
Just hold me baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore


It's hard to find forgiveness
When we just turn out the light
It's hard to say you're sorry
When you can't tell wrong from right
It would be so easy
To spend your whole damn life
Just keeping score
So let's get down to it baby
There ain't no need to lie

Tell me who you think you see
When you look into my eyes
Lets put our two hearts back together
And we'll leave the broken pieces on the floor
Make love with me baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

We're not strangers anymore
We're not strangers
We're not strangers anymore

What's on my mind in the AM

I don't think anyone could ever understand the pains of losing one's mother. I know some talk about not being able to be close to her, but I rather have that than losing her forever, but when I think about it it's not forever, it's just for awhile. I'm glad for my mortality.

The awareness of my mortality has given me the urgency to have changes in my life. DRASTIC changes...

To have a scholarship named after her...and to be rich enough to be able to give one out...

In memory of her. Of how important the pursuit of knowledge was. When I think about how many people in the world who would die to have such an opportunity to have their future changed by some help, it drives me even more to have this cause become a reality. And remembering that books were more important than Barbie Dolls.

Books were and still are my toys. A way to travel out of my space into the lives of others, experiences and places. Wouldn't it be good to instill these values to our future generation? Passion for books?

I know it sounds passe, but has any changes happened in the last decade? So busy with video games and computers, that no one enjoys a good book nowadays. Maybe I like the smell of newly printed pages, the feel of turning the page against my fingers, the discovery of words and best of all, different ways of expressing one's feelings and figuring out a way on how to get the person to open up. I've been told I had a problem with doing that. :P

Anyways, maybe I'm old fashioned, but then again it could be a grand idea to merge passion for books with technology...besides e-books, what could be next? something interactive that we all could enjoy and really immerse ourselves into the characters, story, information etc...

Instead of just seeing a graph it shows someone explaining the graph to you until you get it and some questions included so that you can practice =)...

Imagine having this kind of technology on your mobile...Studying on the go. And affordable to the general public. You wouldn't have to lug your laptop everywhere you go.

K-Mobile..Knowledge mobile? something to give a serious think about...

This could be the idea God wanted me to produce, given the fact that he let me be in relationship 3 people from telecommunications (all not working!), maybe now he can give me a lawyer or a doctor or something... :P psychologist me heal the scarring lolol...

Anyways I just needed to vent. And suddenly this idea pops up. Who knows what'll happen...


Dec 14, 2008

Manifest Your Mate!

I personally loved this read. It's really a practical way of getting to know who you are as a person and finding out who you want to be in your life! It gets me excited every time I read it and the probabilities of hooking up with someone who is your perfect other half is higher!

Have fun reading...!!

-Manifest Your Mate!-

Finding the love of your life can be a daunting challenge these days, without having a little help! Most of us on a conscious path are relatively happy and content with our lives; however, having a loving spiritual partnership with a person who enhances our life gives us the opportunity to grow and thrive in a deep, spiritual love, making life more enjoyable!

Here are my tried and true steps for manifesting your life partner:

Get Love: It all starts with YOU. When you love yourself unconditionally, you create loving energy towards yourself which draws loving energy in your direction. To help you get to an unconditionally loving place, treat yourself to a brief meditation of self love every morning and every night (and more throughout the day if you can!): Close your eyes, take some deep breaths, get centered and relaxed. Once you are in a meditative state, feel your connection with Divine Energy and know that you are part of the Divine. Know that you are worthy of being, doing and having whatever you desire. Know that you deserve to be loved unconditionally. Feel grateful, joyful and in love with yourself. Do this everyday for at least 5 minutes when you first wake in the morning and every night before bed. Appreciate and love yourself throughout the day. Take a few breaths and think “I love me! I deserve love in my life!” and feel the total acceptance and love for yourself. When you love yourself, you will attract others who also love you.

Get Clear: When using the techniques of manifestation, be very clear and very specific about who you would like to draw into your life. In my consulting business I met a man who had been using a traditional, mainstream online dating site. He had been corresponding by email with an intelligent, funny, interesting woman for over 3 months. (Note: if someone does not want to meet you in person within the first week, consider this a major red flag!). Finally, the big day came…they were finally going to meet in person! He told me how excited he was to meet this wonderful woman face to face. That day, he received an astonishing email from her saying, “Ha ha, I’m a guy!” So, when I say be clear and specific, I mean be clear and specific!

  • · To get clear, write two brief “stories”. First, describe your ideal mate as if he/she already exists in your life. Have some fun with it and be sure to include as many details as possible. Write your story as if he/she is already in your life. Include his/her personality traits and qualities, beliefs, values and lifestyle. Make sure to include gender, sexual preference, smoking, drinking, spirituality, kids, political views, level of consciousness/social/environmental awareness and anything that is important to you. For example: “My husband is the most incredible, intelligent, kind, funny, friendly, environmentally conscious, spiritual man I have ever met. I feel so appreciated, loved, and respected by him. His down-to-earth, genuine realness and huge heart always make me smile—he helps keep me grounded! He brings out my playful, youthful spirit and makes me laugh till it hurts! Our spiritual bond is incredible and we have the most powerful, deep meditations and tantric love experiences ever. We inspire each other to be better people and to take great care of our bodies by eating healthy foods and exercising everyday…..”
  • · Second, get your creative juices flowing and write a story describing your “ideal day” with your ideal mate. Do this in the present tense, as if it’s occurring as you write. Make it multi-sensory and live it up! Include where you are living, and how you will feel. For example: “I wake up in the morning and feel the tropical breeze on my face, smell the gardenias in the air and hear the peaceful sound of the ocean waves outside our balcony door. I roll over and smile at my husband. His eyes light up as he hugs me and tells me how much he loves me. My heart swells with joy and gratitude, feeling so content and so in love! We get out of bed and eat some papayas and mangos for breakfast, enjoy a deep meditation and then go for a swim in the ocean with the dolphins that frequent the cove we live on…etc....” Go through your whole ideal day like this and you will not only be manifesting your ideal mate, you will also be creating your ideal life!

Get Real: It’s time to throw Barbie and Ken in the trash and GET REAL! When you are describing your ideal mate, let things that are not very important go! If you are a woman, and you prefer a taller partner, be open to meeting someone shorter (there are a lot of incredible not-so-tall-men out there!). If you are man and you want a perfectly slender/thin woman, instead, imagine your mate active, energetic and fit. Let the specific body type go. Chemistry is a funny thing and comes in all shapes and sizes! If you prefer younger or older, know that age is extremely relative. Be open to dating outside your race too. There are many things that are more important to a loving relationship than age, race, height or weight, like children, spirituality and lifestyle. The most important thing is; how does the other person make you feel?

Get Grateful: Now let’s energize your stories! Read your description of your ideal mate out loud. Imagine that he/she is ALREADY in your life and FEEL grateful, joyful, and in love! Amp up these feelings as much as you can! Then, read your “ideal day” story out loud and feel even more joy and gratitude for the beautiful life you have created together. Now, let it go and whenever you think about it, imagine the wonderful life you have together and know that it’s done. Feel grateful every time you think about it. To successfully manifest, you must be confident. Any feelings of doubt or skepticism will slow down the process or even reverse it. Stay in your power by keeping the feelings of gratitude pumped up! Know you deserve a loving, spiritual relationship and get ready to meet your ideal mate!

Get Busy: This last step is critical in manifesting your mate! TAKE ACTION! Put yourself in situations where you can meet other eligible singles. Start dating and get the energy flowing. Be open to meeting/dating a variety of people “looks-wise”----remember, chemistry is a funny thing! Joining an online spiritual dating site will help you get started. By joining a spiritual dating site, you eliminate the tiresome process of weeding through thousands of people who are not serious and don’t have the basic spiritual beliefs and values that you have. Put yourself in the best, targeted “pool” of conscious singles possible! Once a member, use your intuition and let Divine Energy guide you towards whom you should contact. Be pro-active and initiate contact! When dating and meeting new prospects, be authentic and real. Chris Rock jokes about singles “sending their representatives” on dates. Leave your representative at home and trust that the Divine love you feel for yourself will be reciprocated by the right person. Just relax, be yourself, have fun and enjoy the process. Continue to feel grateful in advance and watch the sparks fly! Here’s to you and may you manifest your mate easily, joyfully and powerfully!

Authors Details: Jill Crosby Web Site


Giving Yourself Alone Time

I found that this post brought value and sense of direction to my somewhat cluttered mind. Thank God again for this blessing. =)

Alone Time In A Busy World

In today’s busy world filled with all sorts of flashy things, it’s quite easy to get distracted. You get up in the morning and an alarm clock greets you with a series of loud beeping sounds. You check your email and 42 spam emails pop up and ask you if you’d like some viagra. You microwave a sandwich and an annoying flashing clock reminds you that it’s time for work. You buy a sandwich and all sorts of signs and cardboard thingys hanging from the ceiling tell you that you probably want a drink with that. You go to sleep and the buzzing of your fridge reminds you that there’s stuff to be eaten in there.

It seems like everywhere you look, there’s something yelling “Do Me!!”, “Buy Me!!”, “Look At Me!!”, etc.

The Unanticipated Alone Time

Usually, this effect isn’t even noticed. We kind of tune out all this stuff and barely notice that it’s there. However, a recent even made me realize that they do have their effects.

The last two days, Pacific Gas & Electric had the good sense to remind me that I had forgotten to pay my electric bill - by turning my electricity off. It resulted in a day without electricity, but eventually a little adrian monk got my power turned back on. The surprising is that while my power was off, I felt completely unstressed and relaxed.

There’s no whirling of my computer fans when I’m sleeping. There’s no buzzing of my fridge. There’s no clocks to tell me that it’s time to do something. In fact, since it was night time, there wasn’t even any light to show me the stuff in my room. There’s just me.

Clarity In My Alone Time

In this peaceful state, I found it very easy to focus my thoughts on the things I wanted. I thought about doing a good job at work and making my boss proud. I thought about the large, happy family that I’m going to have some day. I thought about the billion dollars I’m going to make in the next 30 or 40 years. I thought about the great problems I’m going to solve with those resources and the example that I would set for future generations.

These are thoughts that would not have flowed so naturally if there had been all kinds of distractions around.

Why Have Alone Time?

This experience made me realize that it is extremely important to have alone time. With so many distractions around us all the time, it’s very important that we know what we want. Otherwise, we get into the habit of going where these distractions tell us to go, without thinking about it. They suck up your time from the things you want the most, without you even realizing it.

You can’t be thinking about helping your family when you’re deciding if you want large fries with your drink. You can’t be thinking of buying your wife a flower when you’re thinking about being late to work. You can’t be thinking about your purpose in life when you’re trying to figure out what someone else is saying.

Just try it once. Turn everything off. Sit around for a while. Are you a different person in the dark?

Being alone really allows you to find out who you are as a person. Who are you when there is nobody around? What do you want to do? There’s nobody to impress, no approval to gain, no work to be done, no schedules to be followed. At this moment, there is just you. What do you want?

Having alone time allows you to re-experience being this person. You can really think about whether the things you are doing during the day are truly the things you’d like to be doing. It allows you to focus on your needs and wants without the distracting input of other people and devices. You get to think about how you are becoming (or not becoming) the person you want to be and have time to make the necessary adjustments for the next day.

Scheduling Your Alone Time In

This is clearly a pretty important process. After all, how do you know you’re doing the things you’re doing because you want to and not because someone else wants you to? Don’t you deserve to do the things you want?

Make a resolution now to take some time out every once in a while and go somewhere without distractions to reflect. Think about what you want and make sure that you are doing them. After all, you only have one life to live!


Dec 6, 2008

One of those crazy days.

I seem to lose myself yet again in the turbulent seas that I come to know as love. Optimistically, I tell myself that love is there for me, that he loves me, but in this current circumstance it is easier said than done, to be optimistic that is.

What a headache! my heart's pounding and yet I feel lethargic. I kind of like my temporary immobility..Gives me reflection time.

Drowning my thoughts of ending my relationship with the song Dangerously in Love, I imagined myself committing suicide, slitting my wrists and stabbing myself with the IKEA blue scissors I just got, what class, killed by an IKEA product. They could never live that one down.

When my visions included blood on my floors I started to freak out and calm myself down. I began reciting some verses from the Quran to bring me out from these blues, zikr (Ya Allah and Astaghfirullahalngazim - God forgive me) and ayat Kursi (Fig. 1) and it made me start thinking that, what am I doing such that this is my result? I'm glad that in life there is always a formula to things, to gaining happiness, and PRAISE GOD!

Fig. 1 Ayat Kursi

I decided to google and search for tips to love oneself. I may have done an entry like this before but who the hell cares. Enjoy reading people...

Tips For How To Love Yourself

by C. Rainfield

Learning to love yourself isn't easy -- especially if you're a survivor of childhood abuse or neglect. But there are things you can do to boost your self-love.

  • Ask for a list of things people like about you.

    Sometimes it can be hard to find things we like or love about ourselves. So -- ask other people to tell you all the things they like about you. Ask a friend, a lover, a therapist. This isn't a replacement for your own love; it's a first step in learning to love yourself. You may need to hear the things other people like about you before you can value them in youself.

    If hearing what people like about you is hard, ask your friends to write it down for you, or leave it on your voice mail, so you can read/listen to it over and over. Go back to it as many times as you can. Even if you don't believe that someone can like a particular thing about you, or you don't believe it exists, trust that your friend does see it and value it.

    When you start to hear critical voices inside your head, go back to those things your friend said/wrote about you, and remember that you are loved.

  • Make a list of the things you like about yourself.

    Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Be as honest as you can. Modesty doesn't help you here; neither do old critical messages. If you're having trouble finding things you value about yourself, think about the things you value and love in your friends, then see if those things exist inside you, too. Most often, they do.

    Fill a special notebook with your list, or create a set of cards. Make the notebook as beautiful as you can -- make it something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then open it up and look at it any time you're feeling down or critical about yourself, or any time anyone says anything that triggers your criticalness of yourself.

    Look at this good-things-about-yourself book as frequently as you can. It may seem silly, but repetition really does make a difference. (Just think of the impact one critical phrase said by a parent over and over to a child can have. It really does have an effect! Now try to give that child inside you at least one truly loving phrase about yourself that s/he can hold on to.)

  • Make it part of your daily routine to praise something in yourself or think about something you like about yourself.

    In this society, we're taught that praising ourselves is selfish and wrong. But praising ourselves for things that are good about ourselves only helps us. It is a healing thing to do, something that nourishes our self-worth. When we love ourselves, we're happier and more true to our own selves...and that happiness and ability to be free spreads to others.

    So...try to think of something that you like about yourself, or something that you did today that made you or someone else feel good -- no matter how small it may seem. Give yourself the kind of warm praise that you would a friend.

  • Love yourself like a friend

    Close your eyes and think of a person you deeply love and trust, and who you know loves you-- a friend, a lover. Think about all the things you love and appreciate about them. Notice how that love feels inside you, how it makes you feel good.

    Now turn it around the other way -- be your friend, feeling that same deep love for you. Trust in their love for you, and just feel it. Let yourself see your self through gentle eyes, with compassion and love the way your friend does, even if you can only do it for a moment. Now let yourself receive that love, the love you have as a friend to yourself. Feel the warmth move through you. Remember how it feels, and come back to that love another time.

  • Make a note every time someone says something nice about you.

    Every time someone tells you something about yourself that makes you feel good, write it down or make a mental note and jot it down later. When you get home, put that note in a container of "good things about me." Decorate the container however you like. Keep on adding notes, and read them over every time you need a little boost -- and even when you don't feel like you do.

  • Have compassion for yourself.

    If you're feeling really judgemental about something you've done or said, try to understand where the judgement is coming from. Not the immediate, surface answer, but an answer deep down inside you. Are you afraid of something, or are you feeling insecure? Do you think you did something "wrong," or are you hearing the judgement of a voice from your past? Try to connect to that little kid inside of you who's feeling that way, and really listen to how s/he's feeling. Hug and reassure that kid, and let her/him know that s/he didn't do anything wrong, and that you love her/him.

    You can also think of a friend having acted as you did. Imagine how you'd feel towards them -- how you'd still love them and readily forgive them if there was anything to forgive. You probably wouldn't even find it bothersome! Try to feel that same love and compassion for yourself.

  • Recognize that the love has to come from you.

    If you're a survivor of child abuse or come from a dysfunctional family, you may still be waiting for a parent to give you the love and acceptance you never got as a child. But the kind of love you need (or needed as a child) probably isn't going to come from a parent who abused you or who looked the other way while you were being abused. But it can come from yourself.

    It can be hard to give it to yourself at first -- after all, if you didn't receive love as a child, or if some of that love was torn away from you by violence, self-hate may have built up inside you. But you have the courage and strength to love yourself, if you've survived this long. And you do deserve it!

    So try to connect to that little child inside, that child who deserves all of your love and acceptance.

  • Use Affirmations

    I know, I know, this sounds corny. But if you hear good things about yourself over and over, you can't help but have some of it sink in.

    Write out strong, loving things to say to yourself, even if you don't fully believe them. Some examples are:
    • "I utterly and completely deserve love and kindness,"
    • "I am a very loveable person,"
    • "I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, and wise." (or subsitute the words for loving words that you feel best suit you.

    Now put up those affirmations in places you'll see them every day -- on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, on your bedside table, next to your favourite chair, on the kitchen wall next to where you cook your food or eat a meal. Don't forget to read them.

    If you're not comfortable having them up in such public places, then write out a bunch of them (or copies of a few) and put them in places you'll find them -- in your jacket or jeans pocket, in a book you're reading or a favourite book, in your desk drawer, in with your clothes. They're little love notes to yourself. In fact, you may want to do both things -- have them up and also hidden in places where you'll find them.

    When you read an affirmation, read it slowly, and really let yourself feel it. Don't just say it by rote. Try to let yourself be there as fully as you can.

  • Recognize Self-Critical Messages -- and Talk to Them

    It's easy to let old, critical voices and messages that we heard as a child play over and over in our minds, without stopping them. Often we may barely recognize that they are there, or we don't really listen to them, we've heard them so often -- but they continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves.

    Try noticing next time you hear a small (or very loud) voice inside your head criticize you. Be aware of what it is saying to you, and try to talk to it. Ask it why it feels it needs to say those things. Is that part of you trying to protect you, in some child-like logic? Or perhaps that part of you felt it had to take on the messages you heard as a kid. Remind that part of you that you no longer need to do that to survive. You are free to make up your own mind about yourself.

  • Counteract Negative or Critical Thoughts About Yourself

    Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.

    If you're having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.

  • Do Comforting and Nurturing Things For Yourself

    Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things -- and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you'll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you'll seek them out -- and they will help build a good feeling inside you.

  • Ask Yourself What You Need to Do

    Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you. So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, "What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself?" Don't force an answer -- just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you -- and you have great wisdom inside you.

    Above all -- have compassion for yourself and for where you're at. Remember that you are a truly loveable person -- and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. :)

    © C. Rainfield, 2001

I guess I live to write on my blog another day.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.