Apr 25, 2012

eat pray love

Maybe I should go on one of these trips. Not neccessarily the Liz Gilbert route. A route of my own. To places that I hold close to my heart.

And I've got these 3 places in my head already. Just be gone a year. Who knows what'll happen?

Apr 23, 2012


Key word for the day.

For my life.

Every time I complain about my life shit starts to happen.

Why don't I just not complain about it?

And look to God for comfort?

Every now and then I question His authority. But...

He is my Creator. He should have a reason why He wants things as such. He has never failed me so far.

His tests and lessons are kinda brutal and harsh. Well I'd rather pay now then later.


At times I feel like dumping everything and just doing whatever I can to please Him. I just don't want the wrong teacher. I'm very impressionable, not stupid, just impressionable when it comes to these things.

I have had my fair share of craziness. Family and friends can vouch for that. But I want to come clean now.

Plus my friend said the end is coming. So....

It's better to be safe than to be sorry.

Is it that hard to get to heaven?

So many questions...

Image courtesy of

Apr 19, 2012


I love how cool my blog looks right now. Thanks to Blogger.com for hooking me up with a background I like.

Thank God for the curiousity and courage He has given me to navigate through the blog settings and templates.


I'm losing sleep but it's worth it.

I'll remind myself to blog about what happened with a particular insect last night. It was kinda creepy but WOTEVA.

Till then my youthful ones.

Kiss kiss.


I was going through some of my old posts and drafts and realised that it was very lovey-dovey. *barf*

A lot of hurt too.

And a lot of STUPID. I was rather ashamed of what I was reading. Ashamed at how willing I was to thrive through a dying relationship. It was right in my face and I refused to see it.

I remembered those trying times. My mother had just passed away. I guess I needed someone to love me so bad I was willing to do whatever it took for me to simply have someone.

God forbid that my ex would read what these fingers type but goodness me what possessed me to date a bully like him defeats even me because we're friends now and went through the bygones be bygones thingy.

I am however SO GLAD I am over the seeking approval phase.

I learn that from the one I'm currently seeing. My awesomest person.

But our relationship has it's ups and downs. Which relationship doesn't?

Okay I'm kind of side tracking but seriously....

The best thing about going down memory lane for me is that I get to compare how I was before and how I am now as a person.

Don't get me wrong.

I love PAST me. Good and bad. But PRESENT me is pretty awesome. I have better self-respect and won't take crap. I speak up and say my mind. I don't let my environment get me down.

I am the master of my ship.

What a good way to start fresh with my blog.


I've got a lot of plans for this  blog of mine but currently I find that it speaks volumes about how lazy I am when it comes to housekeeping.

I can't ride the 'but yea it has been awhile since I last wrote' wave. I need to

I caught myself being hard on myself again. That has got to stop.

Anyways back to the blog presentation issue. In a nutshell, I want when people look at it people say Hey this is Ari's blog.

But I guess for the time being I have to settle for a TEMPLATE. *shudders*

I've got tons of friends (I think!). Who does web design. Actually I just need someone to create my very own blog layout and I'll be fine. That is until I get bored with that one and want something new.

It's 1:26 am. I love time stamping. Keeps me in the loop of the present.


If anyone can help me that'll be awesome.

I miss my friends in KL. I kinda feel that my brain is turning into putty.

Waiting for my offer letter doesn't help much either. I did get my first one from Griffith but I remember dad telling me that he doesn't appreciate me drowning. (Griffith University is in Brisbane...had a bad case of floods a year or two back..No offence Brisbanians I still love you guys!)

My dad. If he had his way I'd be riding in a tank everywhere.

It's nice to have a dad protective like that.

I wonder whether there's lessons online on how to create your own blog template.

Hmmm....another project. Yay!

An Hour Later

What craziness. It's 3:45 am and I'm struggling to sleep. I couldn't sleep well yesterday and now too! This is too much. Maybe because it has been awhile since I wrote that all my creative juices (ew uwerk) are flowing that I find it hard to sleep.

I was really sleepy earlier though during the movie. I kinda slept with my eyes open. But suddenly something dawned upon me. I have almost always succumbed to peer pressure. Wanting what others want and realizing like "hey bukan juga aku mau tu barang ba" (translated: I didn't want it to begin with)...

 How many times have you gone through that? making a purchase and realizing you don't need it, going some place and realized you wasted fuel, squandering your resources so that you can have that temporary high from a new purchase? a new place? and much much later saying to yourself..."wuina matila saya punya poket ni kali" (my poor financing is gonna get the better of me one day) Take a breather the next time you feel like going on an impulse...ask yourself

"Do I really need this?"....(and no your turquoise blouse does not go well with orange fishnet stockings no matter how hard you try to convince yourself)..

 Start saving. You never know when you might need it for a rainy day. In all seriousness, rainy days do exist. A good savings would be a nice buffer when you're trying to get back on your feet. And if you still do want that money somewhere a charity of your choice would be nice. There's nothing like the feeling of GIVING to someone else.

You'd really feel good about yourself. There's an unspeakable joy that comes from knowing that you made a difference to someone's life for the better. If this move sounds selfish then screw you I think its phenomenal. I need TO SLEEP.

 Gnite for the last time (I hope)

Apr 18, 2012

O wow.

When I saw the date since I last posted it came as quite a shocker.


I don't know, maybe real life got the better of me. Maybe I lost interest in making posts. I don't know.

Hopefully this time around my modjo sticks. Can't believe that I forgot my password. I mean I am the forgetful type but it's not like I want to forget it. I just forgot la.

What a long time to suffer from writer's block. LOL

But I did say that I was going to start writing again, about what I don't know. Maybe a mixture of things. Just stuff I do. Maybe it'll benefit someone one day. Who knows?

The past 1 ++ years has been a very slum down hill experience.

At this point in my life, I've decided to go back and study again to do my Masters. Who knows what'll happen, right?

The world is your oyster they say when you're at my age. (will be 32 this year). I'm dreading to see the number of candles on that cake.

There's no hoping to where I want to go and achieve in life. It's just a matter of doing. A lot of things that I have declared to do is finally happening.

I got another shocker when I measured today 2 1/2 inches less than I was 1++ months ago.

I suspect speed in my acaiberry pills. Either that OR tapeworm (some crazy ass soup I had when I was in Semporna some time back gave me diarrhoea and vomitting). Didn't go to the doctors. Hence the result is continuous weight loss.

If I do have a worm I'm keeping it :P

Call it Fred or Bob.

Waiting for my offer letter. I don't even know whether I want to do my Masters overseas anymore.

All that money. Australia's getting expensive.

I wish I had a fairy godfather to set things straight in the financial department...well in all departments as a matter of fact, doesn't matter where.

I saw Nash on tv. Used to seeing my friends on television and acquaintances. The last time I saw someone in a commercial it was KT my bestfriend's ex. I swear to God I really thought it was some crazy dream that my friend's man was being eaten alive by a ginormous OCTOPUS. (What a big bbq we would need to grill that sucker).

Anyways, It's 2:49 and I'm rambling.

I really need a cig but then house rules say no.

Good morning people.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.