Dec 22, 2012


Been a lot going on lately where chaos is concerned. So many rumors flying around social media that a lot of people are taking it to heart.

One very annoying one is the planetary alignments that will cause weather to shift for days. Like if you're a 4 season climate it will shift to tropical and vice versa.

Not that I mind a White Christmas it would be perfect in a country like Malaysia. I wouldn't have to fly overseas to experience how a White Christmas would be like. Skiing in the manmade lake in Likas, snowboarding to the nearest market instead of driving and the best part would be the Malaysian snowmen I could make. I can imagine one with a pipe and sarong with a cute little songkok (its Malaysian headgear usually worn to attend gatherings or worn to the mosques.) on its head.

But oh my goodness! if it's not on the news it is mental abuse. Quit believing in rumors. If I wanted trash I would just watch the BBC. LOL No offense guys.

I know that we can never be too safe. I heard that a lot of people were stocking up for the so called Doomsday loading up on food and what nots. I seriously feel that it's just part of a conspiracy by shop owners'r'us to get people to spend more money.

My bff Pam was saying it's like Y2K  all over again. What I remember of Y2K doomsday was that everything that's computerized will malfunction and cause people to die because of the switch from 1999 to the year 2000. My sister Masley was on a plane with her family on Y2K eve. We were a bit worried but thank goodness for that. They all arrived in one piece.


Dec 10, 2012

Melancholy and Bittersweet.

I've had some drama lately in the realm of relationships. Particularly friendship.

There is a silver lining that I have attained in Kota Kinabalu. Whatever it is, I am grateful for what has been given to me, and above all still grateful that I have a conscience.

At times I feel that I am always on the losing end of a friendship. Every battle that has been put in front of me I have lost and become the doormat. Going back to my previous post about 'vacuum cleaning'...(the law of vacuum). I've given it serious thought about who I want to be in my life and who I want out.

It is quite hard to let go of friends. You have been there for each other for YONKS. But there are certain things that you cannot cross. Certain things that lines should have been respected. Certain events that you should have been there for the person but haven't.

Based on what I am writing it pretty much sounds like I was on the receiving end. No. I was on the giving end. It pained me to do it but it would have pained me to not.

Like, what would I want anything to do with people who didn't even bother asking me why I did what I did and just brush me off thinking I was the bad guy? I can already see what's going to happen after this and NO. You had your chance to be with me and you blew it.

But mind you, even after all this apocalyptic happenings in my friendship world, it took me awhile to figure it out but finally I've given into my heart.

I've learnt that your heart's well being and optimum condition is important for you to go on living..thriving. It was not made to be a people pleaser and it never will be. Most of my life has been lived trying to live up to people's expectations and it has not gotten me anywhere because every time I pleased a certain crowd, another crowd would think of me horrible. In the end I've lost twice, doing something I didn't even like to begin with and still having people mock my choice of living.

Therefore my invitation to other people fighting the same battles that I face, live the life that you want. If there are relationships not worth saving, don't save it. Trust that there is something better coming your way. Trust that there is a love that lasts forever and trust all the goodness will come to those who believe and work towards a better day.

The moment I realized what I was doing and decided to do something different, more friends who I could depend on and would be on my team started popping up. People who would take time from their busy lives to ask, hey how are you doing? and do anything to put a smile on my face.

Friends,  don't sabotage your life with keeping company with toxic people. And in the same breadth, it would be wise to think about as well what you or basically I am doing to attract this into my life.

But that heading deserves a different blogpost all together.

I'd like to thank Rahman for being a true friend through it all.

I can sleep easy knowing that there is a friend that will love me for the good, the bad and the ugly.

Dec 9, 2012

New Year Happenings - Cleaning out my closet

Not really talking about the Eminem song (although it is amazing, he is truly a talented artist).


The new year is coming, what are you doing about making space for new things to come?



Why make new space you ask?

The truth is, if you are hoarding stuff, emotions and things in your past which you do not need any longer you are not making room for new things and experiences to come.

Clean out your room, house, your living space, car, etc...I know I feel a lot better every time I start cleaning. Let me be honest I'm not the rigorous, routine type of girl who keeps her space clean and organized every time but hey, this is really valid advice :)

I don't have a specific type of name for this law I am telling you all about but 

I googled it up because I remember Maria telling me about the law of the vacuum (Maria's a Reiki expert I knew through my sister.)...  and I came across some interesting articles, which expands most of what I was talking about earlier.

So as you can see it does not only refer to things but also relationships.

Coming to my experiences with the law of the vacuum, I remembered going through a rough patch with some people and decided that I deserved better. Therefore I went on a search to redefine my life and make it better.

Not long after that I got a better job and better friends. I realized when I was willing to let go of the old that the new came to be.

Which reminds me it's time I make this a repeated and consistent effort so as to continuously have good things and events come into my life. :)

I think this is a beautiful quote to sum everything up.


The Law of The Vacuum states that all material forces of the universe abhor
the vacuum and rush to fill each hole, opening, void, blank page, field
of clarity or empty moment with image, garbage, sound and fury,
often signifying nothing so precious as the original voidness.
This Law states that space allows movement, and that when all space
is filled, the solidarity prevents further movement or growth.
By reducing bit by bit the inappropriate and the unnecessary aspects
of one's lifestyle one can create the time, space, atmosphere and
opportunities to move, grow, replenish and to rebuild on a more
solid foundation. This Law creates the spaces in which to place only
the highest and only the best with the least amount of energy and expense.
As an example:
This Awareness indicates that energies create a vacuum behind them,
the vacuum draws forth other energies. That wherein entities move
towards the Light, wherein entities move toward higher spiritual dimensions,
wherein entities move toward higher levels of consciousness;
these entities create a vacuum which draws others to fill that void which
the entity left behind, and in this manner when one entity progresses toward
higher levels of awareness, others are drawn toward higher levels of awareness.

Out with the physical and emotional baggage..or rather GARBAGE!!

So now that your closet's empty, what are you going to fill it up with?? :)

Cheers to the NEW in your lives!! Have fun sorting and cleaning out!


ps. thanks Maria!

pps. I'm going to let you in with my progress later....

Dec 5, 2012


This has been an endless journey. Looking for my calling that is. It's hard when you're fickle.

I guess I'm not fickle. I'm just so terrified of failing, or being mocked and ridiculed to want to have a superstar's life.

I know that music for me is effortless. I can sit down and write a song no problem.

I feel that the search for the Holy Grail is not as elusive.

Although I have had some progress in the 'releasing what no longer serves me' area.  I love this. Deleted people off my friend's list. Confronted others of my suspicions of their loyalty.

Very productive day indeed.

Now I'm working on something else. To write a laymen's article on shadow work (Carl Jung).

Shadow Work:  The art of naming and claiming the hidden elements of your Oneself Nature, based upon the reflections that are provided by people, things, and situations that manifest around you.  You look at them and you react, or your judge, or you glow with delight!  Why?  Because they are your mirror.  They show you clearly what you could not see on your own.  The usage and perfection of this process represents a majority of the purpose for relationship in a person's life.  The rest--companionship, collaboration, life purpose, and several others--will flow from this practice. 

thanks to: for the definition.

My purpose of wanting to write this article is simply because I get that secretly we all struggle with our dark sides. It's a never ending better between being evil or being good. I hope to find a step by step method can help us all.

Pray for me.


ps. I love you my shadow.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.