May 14, 2008

Letting go....

Many have been asking me why does it take such a long time for me to handle the stuff that I needed to handle which was unpacking my stuff into my new home.

I was lethargic, tired, cranky and moody.

I then faced up to what was really bothering me.

I was afraid of finding....MEMORIES.

Memories of my late mother. Well I did and obviously I broke down.

My mind at the time was playing different scenes in my life. Some of her and some of my family and friends.

I was an emotional mess. Hell it wasn't pretty. It then led me to this conversation I had with a friend and she shall remain anonymous.

With all her best intentions I do believe she told me that it's been a couple of months since my mother's passing. And that it was time for me to let it go.

I was horrified at this statement. This woman gave birth to me, when no one else in the world had no faith in me she was the only one who did.

BUT FINALLY.......I've decided to let her go.

Doesn't mean that she's lost her part in the world. Specifically, mine.

May 6, 2008

Shakespeare The Tempest

I did not know that the dude wore an earring lol

Anyways, I remembered a couple of years back having to do a play on one of his last plays The Tempest, when I googled Will's folio to see that The Tempest was of comedic context I almost fell flat on my face!

It does not by far look like a comedy although cheap shots and tauntings towards Caliban the slave was evident, the oppressors to the oppressed. It was subtle and quite nicely done :)

I wikied The Tempest and found some lines of Caliban and it was quite touching. Observe

For years I bowed my head
for years I took it, all of it--
your insults, your ingratitude...
and worst of all, more degrading than all the rest,
your condescension.
But now, it's over!
Over, do you hear?
Of course, at the moment you're still stronger than I am.
But I don't give a damn for your power
or for your dogs or your police or your inventions!
Prospero, you're a great magician:
you're an old hand at deception.
And you lied to me so much,
about the world, about myself,
that you ended up imposing on me
an image of myself:
underdeveloped, in your words, undercompetent
that's how you made me see myself!
And I hate that image...and it's false!
-Act 3, Scene 5

Initially being a comedic centre, Caliban was seen later as a symbol of those that fight for democracy.

It's also kinda like fighting for freedom and making a stand for oneself.

Bullying will not be tolerated. PERIOD.

I didn't realize that one could learn so much from reading Shakespeare. I think I shall read some more =)

Till the next time...

My wedding VOWS

How do I love thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.


This is the sweetest thing I've ever read. It has a balanced mix of passion and innocence in it.
I experience it to be very honest in its representation of one's love. Perfect would be when
the man of my dreams would dedicate this to me...*sighs*

I <3 Browning

p/s these are my wedding vows to my husband...awwwwwwwww..

Khalil Gibran...On Friendship

When I was hanging out with Erin and saw that the current post that she was working on was on friends, I thought why not I post this one since that's what I feel about it. And that's how I am committed to be for my friends.

He writes best thus far on the gift we call friendship :)

And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Khalil Gibran

My hunni Khalil

Check this is how he looks like. I've been in love ever since my friend Nicole introduced me to his writings. This is one of his poems from his book the Prophet.

I picked this particular one because marriage is on the foreground of my mind right about this year lol

I'll show it to my husband once I find him.......hehe

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

I don't know what to call it?

For mom...Don't know what to call it

I wrote this for my mom, I forgot when I wrote this but I remember how painful it was.

Here's to you mama.

Have you ever felt like u had no one..
Just wished that there was someone
that could love you unconditionally
Kiss your tears in the bad times
Make you smile in the worst and best off all
just love you for you

I used to have that..Now I'm left alone in the dark

This is what I yearn when I lost you
Coz you were the one who never ever gave up
never let me down
Coz you were the one I could trust
Love so deeply

Have you ever looked into the mirror
to find
that your smile isn't ur smile
Stand tall when it's torture
Pretend it's not affecting you
that all your putting on is a show
for your friends to see that you're still
STRONG and that I'm over you
being gone..

Too proud to cry
There's nothing but emptiness inside
I'm too proud to cry
All that's left is my dreams and hopes to survive
another day

Figuring things out, taking a day at a time
Knowing that you're still with me in spirit
Gives me the wings to fly

But still I'm
Too proud to cry
There's nothing but emptiness inside
I'm too proud to cry
All that's left is my dreams and hopes to survive
another day

A legend lies in all of us

Something I wrote, some words repeated. Kinda gives you a mantra feel to it. Enjoy

I am a legend in my own right
A legend despite the strife
The child that acquires knowledge supreme
The father whose passion is driven by his children's dreams
I am a legend in my own right
A legend with courage, will and might

I am a legend in my own right
A legend despite the strife
The future parent that works for their unborn children
The friend that mourns for the death of the mother of a friend
I am a legend in my own right
A legend with courage, will and might

I am a legend in my own right
A legend despite the strife
The sister that fights for her kindred's safety
The brother that leads men to victory
I am a legend in my own right
A legend with courage, will and might

I am a legend in my own right
A legend despite the strife
The achievers who believe that glory and honor be their birth right
The mother whose hands are dry from the ultimate sacrifice
I am a legend in my own right
A legend with courage, will and might

27th April 2008

Ari Yahya


I will be transferring some stuff from my other blog to here so don't be shocked at the abundance of content in one day lol

You will when you believe

I've realized that there were many times in my life that I could have just thrown away everything I worked so hard for and stopped believing that it could be done.

Like the fact that I can have people I can trust and I trust in return unconditionally.

Having come from a dark place in my life, where love was but a foreign entity to me, now I see that anything can happen. When you believe.

This notion was triggered by the conversation Jazzy, Pam and I had about life and about chasing after the stars (our goals).

Pam said that she feels blessed to have friends like us around.

My cup runneth over.

Years back I was hoping and praying that things would go my way. I wanted to have the support of my loved ones and the success that I wanted.

But one thing after another happened that somewhat dimmed that light of hope for me.

Then today when I sat down and just experienced my surroundings, counting my blessings I began to see how beautiful my life was.

Which taught me never to doubt and always keep the faith.

This song expresses it best for me...the struggle towards the light.

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
To swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
Small but still, resilient voice
Says love is the relief

There can be miracles
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It's hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who know what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe

You will when you
You will when you believe
Just your heart
Just believe
You will when you believeeeeeeeeeee

May 5, 2008

Show me campaign

John Legend travels to Mbola to help people in need

So okay I might be a bit bias towards this campaign because my all time favourite performer/singer John Legend is endorsing it but seriously when was the last time you thought about people outside of your family and group of friends?

If the video takes too long to upload let me give everyone a brief summary of what the show me campaign is.

It's to eradicate extreme poverty. In the video it shows John Legend helping out the community in Mbola by ensuring their basic neccessities are met. Some of the items include mosquito nets, free food in schools, clinics that include sufficient supplies of drugs for treatment, clean water etc.

I'm declaring today that I'll be doing community service once a month. Why not you too?

Be in support of your community around u :)

God bless.

May 1, 2008

The Apocalypse of Neo Anderson Part I

Lo and behold, my friend Neo. Interesting personality with much panache. Subtle.

At times he is a contradiction of himself. He is still my favorite person. :)

He charms me with his directness and never fails to amaze me. Until that one faithful day where I decided, with much utter boredom to grace his YM window with common tidings.

Me: Oi buat apa tu?
Neo: Saja.

From this point on we spoke of our rendezvous, holidays, new friendships and the excitement and challenge that the future had in store for us.

Till that faithful moment this friend of mine showed me this most breathtaking pic of Jessica Alba's revealing of flesh.



Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.