Jun 19, 2009

Looking for love

Last night was something different. Last night was filled with talks of despair, hope, love and faith. As the monkeys (my best friends and I) gatherered at Hartamas, the very thought that came to mind was, how come my heart suddenly was filled with this overwhelming loneliness. Like I didn't have enough shit to think about already this irritating turmoil was filling my gut with despair.

I then seek counsel of one of the sages, and he said and I quote " You are full of love. Has it occurred to you maybe you are looking in the wrong places or not being in the right places to be found?"...Counting the years that I have lived, and the hours of idle time I have wasted hoping that someone would find me under my rock, this life saving statement has opened my eyes to explore more possibilities than one.

I've always been the type to say, ceh, let him find me la. OR it's not my time yet. I liked what my friend told me about what Fazillah Kamsah (sp?) said about love. It's something that you summon (ok, it's not the witchcraft type of summon-Imagine a gigantic part gorilla part dragon waiting at your doorstep).


You summon and call for him/her by being the person that you need to be in order to attract this man/woman/dragon part gorilla (just kidding) into your life. And nurture the love in your heart as you would a seed. Moderation is key, not too much and not too little. Like a tree, it too can die if you give it in the wrong hands, and whether it is the wrong hands or not, in my point of view, that should be the call you must be courageous enough to make.

The weirdest thing and that I find magical is when I did my very own summoning. I kept looking at this vision collage that I had of what I wanted accomplished in my life which included my dream man. I was listening to Jai Ho (Pussycat Dolls) for a whole month day in and day out calling upon that guy who would be my destiny. Who would have known the victorious one would appear. My ever so macho friend Wessam squealed when I told him about it. (laffs)

So dear readers, may you be victorious in your endeavours and I trust you will succeed in getting to where you want to go. Just listen to your heart and it will lead you to the right place.

God will never change the destiny of a society until its people change that Society." (13:11)


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.