Jul 13, 2009

Making mistakes

I think making mistakes is God’s way of keeping me humble, of keeping everyone humble. God knows that I have been riding the holier than thou boat. That boat has sunk. I’m grieving beyond words. I’ve always blamed my ex for the relationship not working. Not that I’ve broken up with a new one, he somehow blames me (although not totally) for the relationship not working. Now karma has bit me on my butt real hard. Ouch! >.<

Well I’ve been doing a lot of things lately that I’m not very proud of. Some are too personal too mention. I guess when these things happen it keeps me in perspective that people do make mistakes. I realize I can be quite unmerciful when it comes to others wrongdoings.

Silver lining is I’ve reached a whole new level of compassion. How ironic that the ugly events had to happen for me to learn this lesson. It’s kind of like some form of compensation. And when they said to not be so quick to judge they weren’t kidding. My friend Donald said to me, that we’re no better than anyone else.

I remembered me being on the way to see Fi at Al-Safa, praying to God to never leave me out of His sight even for an instant, because I know the wrong I’m capable of doing if He does not grace me with His love. Again I am praying to Him, to please grace Him with His love. I am grateful that He has made me see the error of my ways and not continue doing the wrong, and that I catch myself.

My other friend Fred (yes I have a lot of guy friends) said that we should only look up to compare oneself to our ideal, kind of like someone to look up to. Admittedly, I have a self destructive tendency and make it an insecurity complex rather than something I enjoy striving towards becoming.

There’s also the fact that people say that look at people not as fortunate as you because it’s going to make you feel grateful with the life that you lead. The flipside is that at times I can get arrogant with success. It’s really a juggle between good and evil. I learnt about the law of attraction. These kind of thoughts manifest like a b*tch, when you think about it, no energy should be spent on thinking thoughts that will not serve you, take it from me, Rhonda Byrne knows what she’s talking about. Even in some religious principles, like karma for instance, when you put out negative energy, you get back negative energy, even in my religion, Islam, we’re taught that 40 times you think about that one particular thing it becomes the truth.

What I got from it all was a higher understanding of forgiveness and compassion and a revision on law of attraction, not bad in one day.


Thank u b1..


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.