Aug 19, 2010

Ramadan Reflections Day 9

From day 4 up till now it was just a blur.

Everything didn't quite make sense because......of that one chance meeting.

That one chance meeting that proved to me that, I wasn't still over him.

Almost a week worth's of passion unstated.

The trials and tribulations made me wander whether I was going to make it.

Eventually I will.

Aug 14, 2010

Ramadan Reflections Day 3

This day was a good and quiet day.

My neighbour's little girl graced me with her presence and joy.

Very intelligent and charming.

All my 30 years of existence, half of it was spent hearing people call me, sister, cousin or aunty.

Only today I wondered, what it would be like to be called sayang by my husband and Mummy by my kids.

I leave this in God's hands. Jaded but still going.

Aug 12, 2010

Ramadan Reflections Day 2

Well, I had a very inspiring time today.

Had iftar (breaking fast) with friends, and a jolly good time just chilling and relaxing.

The best thing was I couldn't wait to get home and spend some time to myself.

What a luxury I might add.

2 years ago I dreaded my own company. I would suffer in silence and isolate myself more.

Now it's just me, myself and I and I couldn't be better.

There's just this liberating feeling that comes knowing that I can count on me to make things happen and amuse myself with anything and everything the world can offer.

I think that going on adventures with my new found friends has also enriched my life. Gunung Senyum and Broga was awesome.

Planning to bring my friends there again. I think I want to introduce the idea to the Monkeys. A Monkeys day out kinda thing.

The place is real special to me so yea why not bring special people, right? :)

Anyways, gratitude to Allah SWT again for the enlightenment and happiness.

Thank You ya Kareem, Most Great.

Note to self, I think I should start charging the battery for my Canon Ixus. It takes awesome pics.

Ramadan Reflections Day 1.5

It's almost break fast.

I'm cooking some sort of Lamb Rice dish I concocted a couple of weeks ago. Jazzy seems to like so I decided to make it for Ayman's break fast today.

I'm really missing breaking my fast at home with my family. I've been away from my family for ages. I don't know when was the last time I broke my fast with them.

This year I'm making it a must to do so. I promised them I'd be back.

Seeing my nephews and nieces wolfing down food has always been something that made me smile.

They always had my back too. Nothing like being away from family to make you appreciate them more. Alhamdulillah for the bounty from Allah that makes me appreciate them and having friends who I appreciate and love, and reciprocate.

Well, I gotta go before I burn something.


Almost got the whole world in my hands. Ah well, completion is just around the corner :)

Later y'all..

Salam

Aug 11, 2010

Ramadan Reflections Day 1

I told my friend I wanted to journal my happenings in the next 30 days of Ramadan. So here goes.

I don't know how I'm going to start it but I'll make it better as I go along.

Yesterday was kind of a stretch for me I must say, being the first day and all.

I couldn't help but want to swear every other time.

I had this lady who took over me on the way to Al-Andalus to break fast with my friends and it drove me insane. I wanted to wave her the finger (I would have tossed my shoes at her and showed her both my middle toes to if it didn't boggle the physical plains of reality and question the sanity of the mind too much-my mind)

Instead I took a deep breath and braved through the next hour in silence and inner reflection.

It made me take a look at my mistakes. Yes........what a time to be reflecting. Half an hour to break fast and in a tight jam (I think that highways do it to me a lot).

I realized I don't show my appreciation to those that matter a lot (a certain someone). *sighs*..Real heavy price to pay for enlightenment especially when you love that someone that much.

I haven't quite figured out though why I haven't gotten over that certain someone yet. It's pure torture especially when I love being in control of my situation and happenings.

Jazzy told me there's always a reason, and I remembered Erin say, when the sun is still not out you can always dance in the rain. Metaphorically been dancing in the rain too long that saying my skin's prune-y would be an understatement.

Good news is career is on a healthy front and health is awesome too. Would be better if I had more money and was fitter though.

Like Oprah rich and Giselle fit.

Never the less, I'm grateful.

WHAT I LIVE BY

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

~MARIANNE WILLIAMSON~