May 14, 2008

Letting go....

Many have been asking me why does it take such a long time for me to handle the stuff that I needed to handle which was unpacking my stuff into my new home.

I was lethargic, tired, cranky and moody.

I then faced up to what was really bothering me.

I was afraid of finding....MEMORIES.

Memories of my late mother. Well I did and obviously I broke down.

My mind at the time was playing different scenes in my life. Some of her and some of my family and friends.

I was an emotional mess. Hell it wasn't pretty. It then led me to this conversation I had with a friend and she shall remain anonymous.

With all her best intentions I do believe she told me that it's been a couple of months since my mother's passing. And that it was time for me to let it go.

I was horrified at this statement. This woman gave birth to me, when no one else in the world had no faith in me she was the only one who did.

BUT FINALLY.......I've decided to let her go.

Doesn't mean that she's lost her part in the world. Specifically, mine.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.