Feb 18, 2008


It’s exactly 4:47 am on Wednesday, 13 February 2008.

It’s not a for some reason I don’t know why I can’ fall asleep kind of thing.

It’s more like, I’m satiated and instead of eating like normal people I indulged myself in some glutton action.

I’m happy that I got to go for a holiday. I still am on a holiday one way or the other.

By hook or by crook I’m moving out next week.

27 and already I’m overwhelmed with doing adult things.

Like next week I have to renew my road tax. I’m still thinking of going on the next adventure while people my age are already working and making their first million.

I have friends that nag me on this. Unknowingly to them, I have scrounged every cell in my body to do the impossible thus far.

Working in camps while my other friends go gallivanting to the nines at road trips and cruises alike! I’m not envious rather applaud them for doing what they wanted.

Just because I’m doing something stereotypically linked to laziness, I hate having my choices ridiculed.

My body is taking its well deserved holiday.

As I close myself to unwanted noise and listen to the voice within, I have this yearning to move to United Kingdom and stay there for good.

This has always been a dream of mine.

One by one my mind churns for ideas on how to make this happen. I have had friends who tell me this is just your way of escaping Malaysia.

It is not an escape it is my dream. Please see the difference.

I can’t help but get annoyed. I’ve discovered that it takes a lot of strength and firmness when it comes to making my decisions in life. So many other people want to make those decisions for you. Telling you how you should lead your life.

I love the coaching mechanism where people ask you powerful questions.

POWERFUL questions that change your life. Then I asked myself

“What makes you happy?”

Then one after the other life started to unfold before me. A couple of things started to surface like the fact that being loving and trusting would be great and always wanting myself to get better and better.

It was one of those a-ha moments when I recognized the importance of listening to


It’s high time I trusted myself and listen to my heart by first reshuffling of my priorities.

Initially I thought I wanted to get married. Now I’m thinking I’m not ready for such a commitment. YET.

At this point of time honestly all I want is to live in United Kingdom. Experience the culture, the art and the people and for once do something for myself.

After some more contemplating I get that there is a lot of challenge being put in my path. I’m sourcing for supportive love to come my way. To be treated with gentleness, kindness and respect.

It’s 6:45 am.

After rounds of quadra-pop (mobile game), I noticed my mind wasn’t totally in the game.

I think I should go back to sleep. lol

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.