Aug 31, 2008

Contemplating the future

Here I am the first day of Ramadhan and after praying what do I do?

Mental mastur*ate my brain cells out of existence.

I was listening to the radio and heard this interesting speaker talk about the art of thinking.


He said, there's this proverb that says, Think as if you are moving, and move as if you are thinking.


I didn't get it since I was up all night doing some stuff, exactly what I am not obliged to say since this is my blog? LOL I just hope I don't forget what it was. It had something to do with mobile phone online booking.

Yea so bottom line is the man said that if you don't think right and move right you are wasting God's gift to you which is your brains. Unfortunately people don't use their brains to the full capacity.

Hence the road rage bullies, idiotic ex lovers and the invention of taxes :) Okay I was just kidding about the taxes part but you do get my drift?

It got me thinking some more about what'll happen when I die? (See I do put my brain cells to good use- I think!)

I am on an mortality awareness ropes course that knows no end. God help me!

This stemmed from a previous conversation that I had with my beloved MMS (there is a hint of sarcasm as I say this, note that this is going to get ugly) LOL


So there I was on one of our infamous road trips from Bukit Jalil to Putramas as usual the tennis match of How are you? I'm fine. Wallahi I miss you. Yea me too. Why didn't you call? As if you call me often. I've been busy. [me saying to myself: Yea well tough. I got things to do and I still find 5 seconds of my life for you.] routine check ups that would put nurses in the Queens hospital to shame :)

Back to the mortality thingy. So, I was flexing my brains when I suddenly said that in the event that my spouse dies before me I will not remarry. Not wanting to take the risk of having an abusive step father for them. Ew!~

The notion brought me to tears. Well secretly I was crying. What mother in the right world would want to succumb her kids to such a situation. Unless it was John Legend tho well..he....uhm nevermind... :P (Sorry Chrissy Teigen!)


~Heart melts~

Then if the tables were turned and then it would happen on his side well he said it would be only logical to remarry because he would be busy at work and no one would take care of our kids. WHATEVER...........What if the lady was like Malowhowhatsit...the devil woman from Sleeping Beauty. Or better yet that evil scumbag from Cinderella that makes her stepdaughter scrub the floors and do all the housework while her fatness and daughters laze around making their ugly faces uglier. Observe exhibit B and C.



Well if something funny like that happened (and I say this with a cynical sense) were to happen I would bring out the guns and turn into this monster.


Madam Medusa herself. Well rather a mutated version of her. She isn't exactly a sight for sore eyes but she dose the job in the spook out department. Be afraid. Be very very afraid.

I WILL KILL YOU MY PRETTY! warrrrrrrrrrrrghhh..........

But then again there's a small chance that my kids would get a good stepmother once I'm in the obituaries. Sourcing for the better also. When my husband decides to marry, if he does, I'm not okay with it but well, he has his needs and I am not saying that he is wrong for wanting it. Besides love is unconditional. It's all a part of Qada' and Qadar. I just surrender.

It is kind of sad to even think about it, not like I'm asking for it but you know one can never be so sure. There are a lot of things that has made me start "THINKING" Alhamdulillah.

I'm glad that I realize that my time here is limited. Anytime God can take my soul. At least I have the comfort that He will care for them after I'm gone.

My sister in crime or rather bestie Pam said that she will watch out for them from time to time. And I made my niece Shary promised me that if anything were to happen that she'd care for them as well.


Blessed being that I am.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.