I wrote this a couple of weeks back but I never got about finishing it. Thank God angels were sent to my direction to put some order back into my life!! BOOYAHH for my peoples…
Have you ever gone through a Jekyll and Hyde post relationship craziness? I don’t know what this thing is called but I seem to be going through that right now. It’s not denial, I know it’s over, but there’s this little ray of hope that I could better next time, passion, vigour and all that beautiful happy ending love story that happens in the movies kind of thing and more… and there’s also this thunder strike that wants to severe bonds and just pretend the whole 6 months never existed. Kind of like our computers with system restore, back date a bit and voila! Pain is gone. Just have to remember to write a post-it-note and say do not go here on this day. Or something that says “DON’T GO AND TALK TO THE BOTAK WITH GLASSES HEARTHROB THAT IS LEANING AGAINST THE PILLAR AT UNIVERSITY FOO!! Potential heartbreaker!!” You catch my drift right?
Well if it was only that simple. I’m stuck with a deep fryer for a skull that is incinerating the few brain cells that I have left. When this happens, Mimie always says to me, don’t think too much buddy please. All is fair in love and war but psychoanalyzing myself isn’t giving me much help either. I refuse a trip to the psychiatrist or any of the sort because I don’t want to be prescribed with medication that claims to cure my temporary loonies and grant me VIP ticket to Tanjung Rambutan (very prominent mental facility in Malaysia, my my won’t my dad have a picnic). Therefore I have decided to lock away my mental discrepancy to a later date. Where the hell was I when Cupid was shooting his arrows? He kind of missed me and I’m missing out on the love department, that’s what I feel.
Things like this happen because God is throwing you lemons (I was thinking, is this a lemon or a MELON? Coz it sure hurts like hell!). Anyways, the point is to not be in resistance to one’s feelings, if I feel love then feel it, given this situation, what am I going to do about it? Just force myself to UNLOVE or GIVE LOVE? The ball was in my court and I choose to LOVE. I felt a sense of relief that I accepted my feelings, as opposed to resisting. Now it’s just to go for love 100% and hope to God it works. FACE UP (TRUTHFULLY NOW!) so you know what you’re dealing with, then think of your next plan of action. FUHHHHHHHH!...
ONE DRAMA OUT OF THE WAY…………………!
I was talking to my bestie (best friend) on a cup of Joe about love and her thoughts were, that no one can have it all. Here we were in our late 20s, successful, beautiful people and yet our relationships, either doesn’t work or is non existent. . Why the heck so? She said that nobody can have it all. I think that nobody can have enough if they really think about the glory and abundance that God gives us. We are what we believe to be at the end of the day.
Focus on scarcity, then things (career, relationships, health..etc) become scarce, focus on abundance, then things become abundant. For how long more do you want to condemn yourself to not be grateful for the things that you do have rather than focus on what you don’t have? By coming from abundance you get more things your way. Just try it out. Ask yourself one thing, has operating from scarcity given you more pay cheques or more debt? Better relationships or worst relationships? How long have you been in this vicious cycle? Scarcity is honestly a horrible thing to believe in, so why don’t you believe in abundance?
Like the saying, is the cup half empty (scarcity), or half full (abundance)? Is this the end of my love or just the beginning? There’s always a choice on how we want to look at our lives. People who are up there and successful have mastered one thing, the art of believing in abundance. The think it so much it becomes innate in them. You’ve heard of a lot of people who went bankrupt and were never to be heard from again. And everyone knows very well about the people who went rock bottom, only to sky rocket the next time we hear about them.
So, half empty or half full? To disbelieve or to believe, that is the question. You can choose. I’m choosing the latter. My cup runneth over…
You know what to do.
WHAT I LIVE BY
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.