Sep 21, 2008

In the pursuit of peace and happiness

Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allâh - Islâmic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allâh, Verily, in the remembrance of Allâh do hearts find rest.

The Noble Quran - Ar-Ra'd 13:28

I miss having M around. He gave me a call saying that he was 3 minutes away from my house and that he had to go to Bukit Bintang right after to meet some of his friends. I was thinking it would be alright since I would be meeting him next week. He asked me why I was going back so early since I told him I was going back a week before my niece's wedding. I just thought it would be nice to go back earlier I mean 3 days won't make any difference anyways not that we always hang out together :P

It kinda was a shocker to me coz he went to see his friends and because he said he was busy with his studying and what nots. It has been eons since I last saw him. I don't know I shouldn't jump to conclusions. I'm just suffering from withdrawal symptoms. lol He does love me tho. Would be nice to see him more often :).. But this is as good as it gets and I'm taking it a day at a time.

I've learned to enjoy my own company. Even though in the beginning it kinda sucked that I had to break fast by myself. But come to think about it I like me. lol And the quiet sessions that I spend with God. Praying to Him and asking Him for His mercy and blessings in whatever I do. It's very peaceful. I trust in Him that He knows what's best for me.

Summer told me that God will only give the bearable trials to His servants. When I think of this I don't get antsy as much. I feel at peace knowing that the only reason why He would test me is because He loves me. I fear that He will not love me. Therefore knowing this, I feel happy. He's been there since the beginning. Through sadness and smiles. When the whole world turned their back against me, He was there to offer me comfort.

This world is a temporary world anyways. But I pray that God will give me more than enough good memories to take me to my grave and the here after.

I know God knows what's inside my heart. He's just preparing me to be ready for special & wonderful times ahead :)

The trials of a modern muslim chic. :) One thing I've gained, is that, in the pursuit of happiness, nobody can make you happy except yourself. You need to take ownership of that responsibility.

If you try to gain happiness from your external environment then that means your happiness is temporary. But when you dig inside and harness the power, like thinking of good memories to shift your energy to happiness, then you will get that happiness.

I read something from wikihow (my favourite website! LOL) and it's listed down some useful things to make oneself happy.


Nobody is happy all the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others, and it doesn't seem to have much to do with material goods or high achievement---things many people spend a lot of their time worrying about. So what do they have that you don't?


1. Relax. Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Try not to over analyze things. Stress can cause many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life. One of the major causes of stress is worrying about things that are out of your control. Learn to recognize these things and if you can truly do nothing about them, then just let them go. Take time to laugh at yourself and the situations you find yourself in. Laughter is a powerful, positive medicine and the calmer and more peaceful you can take things, the happier your life will be. It wouldn't be life if some bad things don't happen.

2. Smile You would be surprised how much of an immediate difference physically smiling has on your mood, if you smile and force a little laugh you will feel your mood lighten and you won't have to force it next time.

3. Take the good with the bad. No one is happy all the time. Everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears. We cannot change the past, but we can enjoy today, and look to the future. If we are prepared to take ownership for the past and accept that everything that's happened in our life, good and bad, has made us the person we are - the battle is half won.

4. Be thankful. A key component of happiness is acceptance - learning to be grateful for what you have. A lot of people know it but don't keep it in their minds. Comparing your life with others' is dangerous. Accept the gifts you have and know that no one is better than or less than anyone else's. Keep a "gratitude journal". Every day, write down a few things that you are thankful for and then review what you have written in past entries. It's a great way to remind yourself to be thankful for what you have and to boost your mood.

5. Be yourself. Much criticism is caused by people who are discontented with themselves, not with you. One way to get in touch with yourself is through journaling, diaries or (lately) blogs. Your goal may be to open up completely to yourself and learn to be your own best friend by being completely honest with yourself. What do you want out of life? What makes you truly happy? Who do you want to be?

6. Pursue goals that make you happy. Strive for long term goals rather than short term satisfaction. It's very easy to gain short term satisfaction--a quick high, a fast relief from your current problems (such as drugs, alcohol, sex). But it is what it is, a "short term" satisfaction, and the effects die out very soon, leaving you with an empty feeling that is sometimes worse than before. Set long term goals, goals which take time, thought, and effort to achieve. This will make you continually work towards improving yourself bit by bit and will give you the satisfaction of bringing a permanent change in your life.

7. Focus on the Objective. If the thoughts you are thinking are not giving you that 'good feeling', then think about something else that will make you feel good in that moment. Observe your thoughts and ideas consistently throughout the day (diary/journal if possible). Sometimes this may not be as easy as you think if you are stuck in a "destructive" train of thought and your brain chemicals are getting fired up and forming "anxiety or anger" thoughts. Anxiety, fear and anger patterns can be interrupted by focusing on something else. This will dissipate the rush of chemicals that are making you feel bad. Immediately then go back to picturing scenes/remembering things/imagining, planning stuff that makes you feel good.

8. Develop healthy relationships.

* Family. If you want a stronger relationship with your family, you're going to need to be honest with them. Tell your family about your life and don't insult them - it hurts them just as much as it hurts you to be insulted. If you are in an abusive family, you must find a way to stop the abuse and that may include separation.
* Have a healthy relationship. If you're dating, get involved with activities that reflect who you are, and get to know people who like the things you do. Get involved with someone who loves life and pursues happiness the way you do. If you're in a relationship, strive to make that relationship healthy.
* Choose your friends carefully. Nearly everyone needs someone who cares for them and treats them well. If you have friends who are treating you badly, or are not supportive of you and your goals to improve your life, then ditch them and find friends that do care about you. If you can't find any friends like that in your current circumstances, then look elsewhere. If you're feeling sad, there's nothing like going out with your friends to make you feel better. Surround yourself with friends who are beneficial, encouraging, and helpful. We all need this continuing, nurturing encouragement to make solid desired progress in life.

9. Make someone else happy. When you're feeling powerless to create happiness in your life, do something to make someone else--anyone--happy, and you'll remember how easy it really can be. Isn't it true the happiest people we know are typically the ones who for some foolish reason are always ready to give you the clothes off their back? And frequently it is true that the most discontented people are the ones who are selfish, demanding, and inconsiderate of others. The happiest days of our lives, when we really dig down deep, is when we see the smile on the face of a person who we care about. Even helping a stranger can remind you of how much you really have, because of how much you can give. Serve at a rescue mission and you will learn the meaning of "I cried because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no feet."


* Try thinking of a creative vow and write it down. Make it something like: I vow to give at least one compliment to someone each day and I'll try to control my anger by counting in my head before reacting.


* Happiness requires balance. Don't become so caught up in your own happiness that you forget about everyone else's. And don't base your own happiness on making others feel good; people-pleasers are usually very unhappy on the whole.

* Even in the most terrible times, do not turn to alcohol, drugs, or anything else that is addictive, abusive to the health of you or others. Bad habits grow like weeds - they are easy to get, but hard to get rid of. Many addictive "solutions" can make your problems much worse.

I hope this has made you as happy as it did me. I feel calmer. Alhamdulillah.

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.