Sep 15, 2008

Break up day 6

Nothing like a good break up to help motivate you into getting to know yourself more and loving every minute of your life! :)

The thing is I don't like to hold on to past hurts. Although it's pretty botchy (original b*tch) but then again life's too short for botchiness.

One thing that I've learnt is to really focus on what I want to do with my life. Not to be rushed into a relationship unless it's like those harlequin-woo-woo-dejavu-I can't live without you kind of things I'm not going to jump into anything. I won't however overlook dating. :P

Honestly, I still love him. I'm just going to let it wear out to one of those I love you as a friend type of things before I can say that I've moved on and ready for something new.

Now, I just want to have fun. Get myself grounded and open my eyes to the whole new world before me. I want to go chase after my star and realize my fullest potential. To do things as Allah wants me to and just reflect on what didn't work in my past relationships. This is the first time in my life where I'm not thinking of getting the one. This is the first time in my life where I am putting myself first and just allowing self love to flow in.

I find it very touching that God still looks out for me. He tests those whom He loves boy do I sure feel loved right now. LOL given the amount of pain. I'm sure it will heal in time.

I still think about M from time to time. But I'm not going to over think things anymore. He was the one who dumped me anyways therefore I trust he knows what he's doing therefore now I gotta get moving and start getting my act together. Post haste!

I guess it's normal to drift to that mode of sadness from time to time. I need to break out from that habit and be more positive than negative. The relationship was really not serving me. Was not really serving us. We're better off as friends.

It also brought me a new realization that there is still much more I need to work on before I get into a new relationship. I won't be ready for one for a long time.

But you never know. You make plans and something else happens. THAT'S LIFE.

p/s sorry for missing out on day 5 I was kind of busy with real life so the usual hecticness of being idle got me carried away :P...

I'm glad that mrs. Moon (period) is going away. I can have some chill time with God. Alhamdulillah.

I've got plans with my friend so I gotta make a move. Need to shower. Ugh. Memories :P

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.