Apr 8, 2009

Ramble ramble ramble

Here I am thinking to myself, life shouldn't be so complicated. People, nay, I like to complicate matters. I realize I love the misery it brings, it means I'm living. Or what? I remember my late mother saying to me that I would always love to do things the hard way, doing it or having it easy does not compel me.

It kinda shows up in my relationships too. I love the guys who are hard to get and I so easily give in to these kind of men while I pour my poor heart out into the hopes that this person will finally see the light of day and knowing all the while that this can never be because I decided to partner up with the ELUSIVE MAN.

I remember this friend of mine said, life shouldn't be complicated, it should be complexed, rich in its happenings and bountiful by the splendour which does not involve in burning a hole through one's pocket, or heart.

It's the little things in life that makes life worth living. The first time I saw this quote was from an Archie's digest. (Thanks to the aunties who had a love for books of all kinds). Even finding this quote from that digest is one of those little things in life, I was 8 back then. As I am writing all this down I am filled with the sweetness and innocence of this memory. Wow...Kinda feel like writing a poem right now...

My pen marks furiously at the blank pages that stare
right back at me
Mocking the idleness of my past
I question the purpose of my existence
Just to validate my worth

I sing, then mope then cry
When is this rollercoaster going to end??
I feel my heart wanting to sing
but it has forgot the notes to the key..

Waves of emotion strike me
In a blinding rage I try to give madness sense
Then I call on to the strength from within me
But it has failed me because..
The very strength that cures me
Is the very love that has left me....

Dang I don't know what I just rambled..

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.